The Sound Of Melodies
by hexacamas7 and augestine
Summary: Roxas is the town "bad boy" that comes from a screwed up orphan-filled family. Sora is a christian and loving boy that everyone loves. When Sora is adopted into Roxas' family, how will things unfold? Why does Roxas recognize Sora? SoraxRoxas
1. All Fall Down

_**Hello, I'm hexacamas7 and this is a SoraxRoxas coupling fanfic.**_

_**If you don't like it, don't read it.**_

_**Augestine, my best friend and co-writer will be writing all the even chapters.**_

_**All the songs and Kingdom hearts belong to the owners and blah, blah, blah. ^^**_

_**Enjoy. xD**_

_Step out the door and it feels like rain_

_That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane_

_Take to the streets but you can't ignore_

_That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for_

I hated this. Hated it. Today was just another day to fuck up and get in trouble for the way life was. My "parents" were moving again and when that happens one of us gets left behind. I've been with this family for a long time, since I was about five or so and they're not bad or anything they're just…unfeeling. I have seven brothers and four sisters, all which have been adopted as I have.

My family isn't particularly rich or anything they're just…"caring" as they put it towards children who have no place to go. I have to admit they really did save my butt from going to jail when I was too young to really understand all the bad things I'd done, but they could care less about my well being. My parents, Martha and Keith, aren't mean they just do all the child care for publicity. Keith is the mayor of all Destiny Islands and sometimes, when he looks at me I can see the regret.

He can't leave me behind because no one wants me.

No one.

Who wants a street rat? A boy who rides around on his skateboard and does all the "bad" things you can think of? I'm constantly condemned by my fellow townspeople for being myself and I can't help it that I'm different. My best and only friend's name is Axel. He's great but he can be pretty….well, Axel.

_If ever your world starts crashing down_

_Whenever your world starts crashing down_

_Whenever your world starts crashing down_

_That's where you'll find me_

We were constantly moving around the Islands, dropping off a kid here and there and picking them up too. I was the only one that ever stayed. The rest of my family, the "newbie's" as I called the, looked at me like I was an alien.

A disease.

Something to be ignored and left out in the dark.

I never once made friends with any of my siblings, and they never once tried to make friends with me.

Today was just like any other miserable day. I was headed to the local high school, in my ripped up uniform (I ripped it up myself of course) when my eyes found themselves locked to the locks of a boy a couple of feet away.

He was gorgeous, shining chocolate-colored hair and a smile on his flawlessly handsome face. I had never seen him before but strangely I felt as if I knew him and had memorized his features a thousand times before. I couldn't place my finger on it though, not with him standing right there looking drool-worthy. Did I mention I'm bisexual? Yeah…I have a thing with guys.

I've never dated a guy, though I'd like to, but I'd dated only one girl. Namine Heart. She was an adorable, sweet little thing, pretty blond hair, blue eyes, cute artistic type but we were too young and her parents forbid her to see me. That was that.

_Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones_

_Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below_

_Everyone's the sameour fingers to our toes_

_We just can't get it right_

_But we're on the road_

Her twin sister, Kairi Heart, was the one talking to the new boy. It was then that he turned and looked right at me. And stopped right where I stood, frozen in place with the sheer color of those icy blue eyes.

They were amazingly beautiful and I suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe with his scrutinizing eyes on me.

Then he looked away just as suddenly, a cute little blush rising up on those perfectly contoured cheeks of his. I started walking by again and hear little bits of their conversation. "…'s that?" I heard the boy ask and his voice reminded me of an angel's. Sweet and like the chiming of bells.

"…Roxas…bad, Sora…stay…away…him.." I heard Kairi murmur back, and I had to stifle a grimace. Great, she was already warning him about the "bad boy" of the school.

"Hey Rox!" I heard Axel shout over the throng of students that were lugging their way through the schoolyard, their bleary eyes telling the stories of long weekends with partying and staying up late, and the long week that was to come.

My head snapped towards my red-headed friend and a smile graced my lips. It was nice to know that at least he would always be there for me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, how the new boy watched us with careful speculation, seeming to check out my friend to get a better idea of what this loud, obnoxiously loud red-headed guy was up to.

Him and me both.

"Hey Axel!" We did our infamous handshake, at which everyone who passed by rolled their eyes, and did a man-hug. "So, how's the move going?" He asked in perfect rhythm with the ringing of the bell that signaled for us to go to class. "What about a groove growing?" I asked with a small cock of my head and he started chuckling at my misconception. "No, you stupid-ass. How's your move going?"

I blushed at my mistake and quickly recovered. "Fine, but you know Martha's gonna start complaining about the interior design of the house as soon as we get settled."

_If ever your will starts crashing down_

_Whenever your will starts crashing down_

_Whenever your will starts crashing down_

_That's when you find me._

At lunchtime, Axel and I met up and ate our lunches in the "usual spot" behind the stands of our school stadium. No one ever went back there and we always had the strangest conversations because of the privacy. Today would be no exception.

"So, did you see that skirt Kairi was wearing this morning? Man, I'd bang her." Axel said with a shake of his head. He had a thing for red-heads, ironically enough, and we were severely lacking in those so he often stuck to the heinous wench from hell. Dumb-ass.

Then we heard footsteps, fast-moving in our direction. I didn't have time to think before the boy I'd been captivated by earlier was sprawled across my lap. Wow…

"Uh…sorry." He mumbled as he struggled to get up with a terrified look on his face. "Whatcha' running from?" I asked gruffly looking behind his shaking form. "N-nothing." He said back and looked around for an escape.

But I wasn't quite through with him yet.

"My name is Roxas." I said and extended my hand. His face slowly melted into a small smile. "My name's Sora." He said and timidly shook my hand. Sora.

Sky.

That's perfect for him and those star-filled eyes of his.

"If you need any help with anything, just ask." I told him and was surprised at my confidence. Since when did I associate with the townspeople? I guess that would be now. Axel was staring at me now with wide eyes and an open mouth. I guess he was as surprised as I was.

_Yeah) Lost till you're found_

_Swim till you drown_

After Sora had walked away, Axel grabbed me and yanked me to the little space behind the stands. "What the hell was that?" He asked and I only grinned up at him. "I like him." I said simply and he dropped both arms away from me as if I'd told him I had some kind of contagious skin disease. "H-him? But he's so….innocent looking." He made a disgusted face and we both busted out laughing.

I nodded my head to him, acknowledging his comment but only smiled. He was right but it was one of the reasons I felt drawn to this mysterious, Sora kid.

During my health class, the door opened and in plopped Sora carrying an armful of books that came up to his chin. The teacher looked surprised and pointed to a seat. Sora sat down in a desk close to mine and I found it was the perfect spot for me to openly stare.

_Know that we all fall down_

_Love till you hateS_

_trong till you break_

_Know that we all fall down_

After school, when I was walking towards my skateboard I saw a fancy car pull up and a lovely looking woman call to someone behind me. I turned around and, it was Sora.

Of course. He hopped in the car, his expression looking happier then it had all day and when he looked through the tinted window, our eyes met again. I felt that freezing feeling control me again and I struggled to keep walking, then forced myself to look down. Now was not the time to be fantasizing about the hot new student.

But I did it anyway.

I had no one after school, Axel always had to go straight home if he want to avoid having a beer bottle thrown at him, and I had quite a journey on my skateboard to get home. Plus I had to remember which house was ours, since it was brand new.

I skated up to my house and saw the same car that had Sora in it parked in our driveway. I looked at it for a second then made my way inside.

And there he was.

He looked right up at me and smiled.

I had a feeling that I was about to be told something I didn't like.

_If ever your will starts crashing down_

_Whenever your will starts crashing down_

_If ever your will starts crashing down_

_That's when you'll find (find) me_

_Lost till you're found_

_Swim till you drown_

_Know that we all fall down_

_Love till you hate_

_Strong till you break_

_Know that we all fall down_


	2. Sweet and Low

_**Hey peoples of the internet! ^^ I'm Jay (Augestine) and I will be helping my bestie here write this story. I'll be writing everything through Sora's point of view. So enjoy the story and, Uh…. Stuff!**_

_Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,  
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,  
I said, well hell is so close_

I sighed in contentment as I walked along the sunny sidewalk to my new school. This was the first actual school that I had ever been to seeing as my adoptive perants had told me that public schools were dangerous. But after my "father" got a new job here on Destany Islands, we moved from our small house in Twilight town and came here.

Moving had been kind of hard on me, but I had to admit that I was pretty exsited for my first day of school. But I had never really had a good time talking to people and was painfully, PAINFULLY shy. So coming to this school, it was a little hard to get used to the notion of making new friends… Then after school, my "father" was taking me to meet the Mayor of the Islands.

My "Father" was a minister, so I had some pretty core Christian values but that just made it even harder to be myself. One of the many things that I had repressed inside of me was that I was atrackted to both sex'. And being Christian, that was a one way ticket to damnation.

_And heaven's out of reach  
I ain't giving up quite yet,  
I've got too much to lose_

So I kept that mostly to myself not particularly liking the thought of eternal fire burning my skin. I had to think about the minastors reputation to. I was his 'perfect son,' I had to be a good boy so that I didn't embaris him.

I took a deep breath of the salty sea air as I came upon the school for the first time.

It had a large court yard in the front and a huge glass window that over looked the perfectly landscaped grounds that were made perfect by everyone walking around in uniform….

Great…

No one had told me that they had a dress code.

I felt that stupid blush creep up my cheeks as I walked up to the school in my strait-leg bleach faded jeans and Billa-Bong t-shit. I had been hoping that I would be able to blend into the background… not be noticed, and survive my first day of school without incident. But it seems that for some reason the Good Lord wanted me to stand out… and I was just going to have to trust his dissision.

_Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home  
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, and I'll carry you home_

"Hey! You there!" I herd someone yell as I was walking up the large stairway. I turned to see a group of kids, all of them staring at me. I blushed again as the boy with silver hair waved me over calling, "Come here new kid!"

I shuffled my feet as I walked over to the group of 3. They were all dressed in plad school uniforms and ties that hung loosely from their necks. I wondered how I looked to these people. My hair was a muddy brown mess and utterly refused to lye flat no matter how hard I tried. I was small for a boy, with a very pattiet build even though I had some ropy muscle along my arms and legs. But it you put all of that together, it equils scronny, weak and deffencelees…

But these people looked like plastic dolls.

The girl had perfect, glossy red hair that just grazed her slender sholders. He plad skirt looked much shorter than the other girls and her button up shirt was undone to show some major cleavage. If you have ever seen Britty Spears' music video for 'Hit me baby one more time,' you'll have a pretty clear picture of what I'm talking about.

The eldest was a boy with white blond hair that looked real soft and suck up like mine. His uniform was clean and pressed, his jacket slung over his right sholder a small smile on his face. He looked like a male model… and I had to remind myself of my Christian values to stop myself from ogling him.

The third was the silver-haird boy that had called me over. He was really built and his shirt was almost as unbuttoned as the girls. His tie was completely undone but it gave him a ceratan charm as he smiled t me.

"Haven't seen you here before," he said sounding casual, "You must be the pastures son. My Dad told me that you were coming."

"Y-yeah," I said softly, "I-I'm S-Sora…" I blushed looking down at my feet.

"OHHH!!!" squeeked the girl jumping, "You're so cute! And Sora… that's such a pretty name!"

"Don't scare the boy away Kairi," Chuckled the blond stepping tward me holding out his hand for me to shake, "I'm Cloud," He smiled warmly at me, "And this idiot," he jestured tward the red-head, "Is my little sister Kairi… It's best just to ignor her…"

"Hey!" she objected, "That's not-"

"It's true," Chuckled the other boy interrupting her, "I'm Riku, by the way," he smiled at me taking my hand to shake.

"Plesure to make you're aquantence…" I blushed with a soft smile.

The three of them burst into laughter and I couldn't help but smile as my blush faded away. I liked the it when people laughed. It was like they were showing you a little part of themselves that they hid from the rest of the world.

"You've got a wasy with words my friend," Cloud chuckled as he slapped me on the back and I smiled even wider. It was about then that I noticed that someone was staring at me. I looked up to see the deepest pair of blue eyes that I had ever incountered.

_Rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine,  
The wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise  
She said, when the day comes, look into my eyes_

A boy with gelled, honey blond hair that shined in the early uniform was ripped and just screemed out 'bad boy'. The very thought attracted me to him. I liked bad boys…. Sue me… He looked so sure and strong that it overwhelmed his prominent feactures. But this boy seemed insainly familiar to me… like a memory long since passed…

I looked down feeling a light blush paint my cheeks as I told myself to stop thinking that way! But just couldn't help but like the way that this boy had looked at me.

"Who is that?" I looked up and asked Kairi innocently, they all knew who I ment.

"Oh…" she said giving him a look that I didn't understand, " That's Roxas, if anyone, you should stir clear of him…" she looked at me deciding that my face didn't look convenced, "I'm serious! He's bad, Sora… You should stay away from him…"

"He doesn't look mean to me…" I muttered my eyes drifting back to the boy who was talking to a tall handsome kid with flaming hair. He was smiling and I liked the way it lit up the sad face that I'd been staring at minuts before. "I think he seems really nice actually…."

"No!" Kairi blurted out, "he's not!" the way she glared at him made me wonder what could have happened to cause such haterid…

"Shut up Kai…" came a new voice from behind me. I turned to find a cute little blond with a braid behind me. She looked exactly like Kairi exsept that her skirt was longer and her shirt buttened. She was exactly my hight and gave me a sweet smile that made me smile to.

"Hi…" I muttered stupidly baffled by the warmth that seemed to radiate off of her. She gave me her danty hand.

"I'm Namine," she blushed as I took her hand and bowed like an old-time gentalman. Shut up… that's what my foster perants taught me to do.

"I'm Sora," I smiled, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Kairi gave Namine a dirty look before grabbing my free hand. Then the bell rang telling us to get inside.

"Come on!" Kairi sang, "I'll show you to your class!" She started to pull me away from the group when Cloud grabed my arm.

"Actualy," he smiled, "Sora is in my class. He skipped two years ahead of you sis. I think that I should have the honor of showing our new friend around." He said matter-of-factly and began to pull me away before they could say anything.

_No one's giving up quite yet,  
We've got too much to lose_

It was a little embarising being the uber smart kid in class. I really didn't like it when people staired at me like I was special… I didn't feel very special. But when I walked into my Pre Cal class, I bumped right into a big mass of muscle.

"S-sorry!" I gasped just as he grabbed me by the color of my shirt and shoved me up ageinst a wall.

"You will be," he muttered before someone cleared their throat. I turned my head to find Cloud glaring at the bullie that was holding me off the ground.

".Down." he said minicingly as they glared at each other before he dropped me and grumbled to himself as he walked away. Cloud pulled me to my feet, "Sorry about him…" she sighed brushing me off, "He has some serious issues…"

I nodded unable to speak and we went back to class.

The rest of the morning went by quickly, but so far, I wasn't too crazy about public school…

When lunch came by, I had no where to sit… and then I felt like crying. I really wished more than anything that I could have seem Selphie's overly happy face waiting for me like she did back home. Selphie was the only girlfriend that I had ever had, and my best friend in the whole world. But when I moved here, we desided that it would be best if we broke up. Long distance relaitionships never ended very well. But now, seeing no Selphie at all, I finaly felt like I lost my whole world…

I walked outside not wanting to see all the happy people eating lunch with the friends that they had since kindergarden. No one was out here but the sun felt nice on my skin so I sat in the cort yard and took a bite out of the apple that my 'mom' had put in my backpack.

"Hey… Kid!" yelled a harsh voice that made me jump so high that I dropped my apple. I turned to see the huge meat-bag that had shoved me agenst the wall this morning. "You've gonna get it now…" he growled coming at me.

It doesn't take a geinious to know when you should run. I was on my feet before he reached me running for my dear life. I was so tired of this!

This was afficialy the worst day of my life.

"Come back here!" the lout shouted lunging at me, but missed. I ran out through the football fields and ducked behind the bleaches before running even father in the opposing direction. I was so upset that I didn't notice the duo sitting infrunt of me before tripping over my own feet and landing srawled across that Roxas boy's lap…

_Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home  
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down,_

I looked up at him embarised out of my mind before quickly struggling to get to my feet, "Um…Sorry!" I exclaimed baffled and mortified as I sat up on my knees. I correct my earlier statement. NOW this was the worst day of my life.

"Whatcha' running from?" he asked gruffly as I tried to still my shakking. It was the first time that I had herd his voice, my heart sped up at the sound of it, like velvet caressing skin. I saw him look over my sholder and I looked back to make sure that no one was there.

"N-nothing" I stuttered searching for a way out of this mess but I wasn't finding anything that would help me. But he didn't give up easily.

"I'm Roxas," He told me exstending his hand for me to shake. I looked at him for a second before smiling. The name Roxas ment variant which ment alternative, another, back-up, different, flipside, other side, second, or substitute. I knew that from the Spanish class I had taken two years ago, but I still wanted to slap myself for being geaky even if it was in my brain. I placed my hand in his.

"I'm Sora," I told him quietly, a little proud that my voice didn't crack. I blushed slightly as his dark eyes soffened.

"If you need any help with anything, just ask." He told me in a strong and assured mannor and I could only nod like an idiot.

_And I'll carry you all the way,  
You say you're fine  
But you're still young, and out of line  
All I need is to turn around,_

After lunch, he was all I could think about. I was thinking about all the things that I should have said and how stupid I must have looked and how I wished that I had fallen anywhere but his lap. But no… I was not sopposed to be thinking this way. Instead I concentrated on not dropping the pile of books that I had accumulated over the course of the day as walked into my advanced literature class.

But when I walked in, I was suprsed to find Roxas sitting in the third row.

God… help me…

_To make it last, to make it count  
You're gonna make the same mistakes  
That put my momma in her grave  
I don't want to be alone_

The teacher, Mr. Strife sat me up front diagonal from him and it took everything in my power not to turn around and look at him. Luckly we were studying poetry, my favoret subject in the world, so it mostly kept my attention…mostly...

Finally the bell rang and signaled the end of the day, and I practically ran from the room wanting to get home. But instead of walking, I found that the family car was parked out front. I ran to it hopping in the front seat saying hello to my foster mom when I caught his eye again.

Roxas was standing not ten feet away looking strait at me like he had this morning with his unwavering gaze. I couldn't look away, it was like I was drowning in the pool of his beautiful deep eyes…

He shoved his face down tward the side walk and our car pulled away.

"How was school?" asked Yuffie. That was my foster moms name. I'd lived with her for almost my whole life. I smiled at her warm face. Even though she wasn't my real mother I loved her just like she was. She was really young, only 24 and as pretty as could be. I was proud to call her mom, though she never pressured me. She said that I could just call he Yuffie but I liked calling her Mom…

"It wasn't great," I told her truthfully and she pulled over looking me over worriedly.

"Are you hurt?" she asked grabbing my face and turning it so that she could inspect me. I almost laughed.

"I'm fine," I assured her, "It just wasn't what I thought it would be…"

"I'm sorry hun…" She gave me a small smile, "But I'm sure it will get better," she turned into an unfamiliar sub-division. "Vincent is already at the Mayor's house so I told him that we'd meet him there," she pulled into a driveway, "Come on my little Sky," she sang and I smiled fondly, "Vincent's had a hard day. It will do him some good to see you."

We walked up to the door only to find that it opened before we knocked. And there stood the smiling face of my Foster dad.

I loved him just as much as I loved Yuffie. He was a little strict but a very good father. He didn't demand me to call him sir or bother me about my hair or aditude. He was young as well, in his mid thirtys. As soon as he saw us he engulfed me in a hug and gave Yuffie a kiss.

"Dad!" I laughed, "Your suffocating me."

"Sorry," He chuckled letting me go, "But I have a suprize for you." He told me pulling us into the house, he smiled at Yuffie and then back at me. He led us into the living room of the exstreemly nice house where a very serious looking middle aged man sat. "Mayor Orner, I would like you to meet my son Sora." He said proudly pushing me forward. I shook the mans hand and sat on the large exspinsive looking couch. They were all looking at me so I waited.

"Sora…" said the mayor, " Tell me… you are adopted correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Did you ever have any siblings?" he asked nonchelontly.

"Um… yes… the orphanage said he had an older brother," Yuffie chimed in, "But he was at a different orphanage." I nodded.

"Well Sora…" the mayor continued, "I hear that you are a bright boy and with great Christian values at that. When I heard, I asked you father to bring you here so that we could speak," He nodded tward Vincent and he lead Yuffie into the hall leaving me with the mayor. " You see," he began, " My wife and I have been adopting children for years as we moved around the Islands. We adopt them and then set then up with familys that we think would be the best influence on their charctor. But we have… one son… he never left. We never found him a place where he could become a better person. No where that he would fair well. But when I heard about you, Sora, I thought that maybe… just maybe… you could help give my son the home he is in need of. That you could be a proper brother." He smiled at me kindly, "What do you say?"

"Of course sir," I smiled back, "But might I ask who he is?"

Just then the front door opened and in came Roxas stairing at me like he'd just seen a ghost…

"Sora," the mayor walked over to Roxas guiding him tward me, "Meet your new brother, Roxas."

…God Almighty…

_Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home  
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, and I'll carry you home_


	3. Behind Blue Eyes

_No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies_

"Meet your new brother, Roxas."

Have you ever had one of those 'what the fuck?" moments where you just pull on a smile and pretend everything is alright when it so obviously is not. Well, this was one of those moments for me.

"Hi Sora." I said weakly, giving him the once-over. Obviously my fascination with him hadn't disappeared yet despite my obvious predicament. I could just see the headlines now "Local troublemaker rapes young preacher's son!" Yeah…the story of my life.

"Can I…uh…go to my room?" I asked uncomfortably, avoiding Sora's eyes, I just needed to breath. Surely he'd heard awful things about me, why on Earth would a guy like that be interested in me?

Then that pang happened again…

Where did I know him from?

Keith stared at me for a moment then faked a grin, "Sure Roxas go on upstairs." I sighed, I'd definitely get a lecture for this later. Right as I was passing I made the mistake of looking up into those gorgeous eyes of Sora's and instantly I was glued to the spot. He was blushing, I could tell, but still I didn't look away. What was it…was that emotion that went through those eyes…how on earth was I sooo stuck?

'_Roxas…_'

The voice was soft and childlike making my heart brake a little. I was hearing things again. I tore my eyes away and ran up the stars, dropping my skateboard on my floor and laying back on my bed.

Why had that been so familiar…?

I closed my eyes shut against everything and lay there, trying to imagine myself in nothingness. As I did so, I felt something…worry…excitement…fascination…what the hell?

I sat up and shook my head. It was a long day, maybe I just needed to rest.

"And this is our Roxas' room." I heard Martha say and I rolled my eyes. There goes naptime. The door opened as she gently prodded Sora into my room with a smile. "How about you and Roxas get to know each other a bit more?" She suggested but it sounded more like "Give the adults a little fucking time alone teenage bastards."

I gestured for him to sit down and she walked away looking victorious.

Bitch.

"So…uh…how's your stay at the Island going so far?" I asked casually, keeping my eyes on anything but those eyes. Those were some seriously strong eyes, they locked on you and refused to let go.  
"G-g-g-good. Thanks." He said, staring at his toes. Damn, I didn't even look in his eyes I was pulled in by that adorable innocence. I bet he hadn't done half the things I'd ever done…

"No problem. So…you want some pizza?" I asked suddenly, the idea popping into my head.

"Sure, sounds good." He said sweetly with a cute little smile on his face.

"You like saying 'good' a lot." I pointed out with a smirk, jumping off my bed and pulling him behind me to the window. "Anyways, I know a place to get some great pizza." I said and pulled up the window, making my way onto the tree that was next to it. Sora stared at it uneasily.

"Don't worry, Sora. I've done this a million times." I reassured him with a little smile. He started climbing down and right when he was about to make it across the outreached branch, his hand slipped.

Not again!

_But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

I blanched at the strange thought, my heart leapt to my throat, and I was suddenly running to catch the fallen boy. I caught him just in time, and I grinned at him. "Are we going to make this a habit?" I asked him slyly as I sat him down.

"You can count on that." He said back flirtatiously, and I blushed but turned my head so he couldn't see. "Alright, I will." I said back in my bad-ass voice. Hell yeah.

I took his hand, my stomach doing little flip flops, and led him down the street to the place where I worked.

"Hey Maurice!" I said to the cashier, he smiled and waved. "Ello Roxas!" He said, rolling the "R."

"How many?" He asked with a smile, looking between Sora and I. "Just one" I answered back handing him a five. "No, no, no it on the 'ouse." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Is 'dis your friend?" He asked slyly and I blushed. "Sorry, didn't mean to be rude, this is my new brother Sora." I said, biting my tongue on the word 'brother.'

Damn, I was crushing on my new brother…

This is sooooo wrong…

"Nice to meet you." Sora said with the cutest smile on his face. "Any friend of Roxas is a friend of mine." Maurice said kindly, going around the counter to give him a nice hug. It was nice to see how good my boss could be to me. He really was a great man.

After we got our pizza, we ate there and chatted comfortably about school stuff, then headed back home. I helped him back up to my bedroom this time, making sure he wouldn't fall again.

"That's your bed." I pointed to the one across the room. "Sorry if I wake you up in the middle of the night." I said nonchalantly, trying to be casual about it.

I sat down on my bed and started on my homework, every once in a while I'd look up and watch Sora doing the same thing. Although, he unpacked his things as well.

He only went downstairs to say goodbye to his parents, then he was back studying right across from me.

You know that expression "So close yet so far away…" that's how I felt. He was so close, I could walk over and push that stray hair out of his face but here I sat trying my best to concentrate on my work.

I finally finished, and I turned to Sora. He was already done, so he must be pretty smart. That's another good quality; did he have any bad ones? I mean, seriously?!

"Ummm…I'm gonna go take a shower, if you don't know where that is just ask me and I'll show you." I told him but he smiled kindly, opening a book to read, "Thanks Roxas, but your mom showed me where it's at." He told me.

I nodded and headed to the shower, I took a quick one, I didn't wanna use all the hot water and went back to my room to pull on a pair boxers. Sora was sprawled across his bed, obviously lost in the book. I got under the covers, and watched him until my eyelids got heavy and I fell into sleep.

_No one knows what its like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you!  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through_

"Momma!" I called grabbing onto the shadowy woman's hand as we ran through the streets, ducking into backyards, avoiding any people. All I could hear was her ragged breathing and all I could see were the many colors passing us by. My chest ached and tears clouded my eyes.

"Momma where's ____?" I asked horrified, looking around. But still we ran, and the more we ran the slower we got. "Momma, it hurts. Please can we-" "Shut up, Roxas!" She hissed, her voice clouded by choked sobs.

I stopped running, tripping over my feet and falling to my knees. "Momma, wait!" I said, trying hard not to cry. "Roxas…not you…hunny, get up!" She cried, running back and pulling me to her chest.

"B-but…I need him, Mommy! I need ____!" I said softly, as she ran with me in her arms. I kept looking back, my eyes searching for a person that I could never find.

Suddenly everything began to change, I heard a woman scream along with gunfire and I was sucked into a dark place.

"Hello?" I asked unsurely, my young pre-teen hands, groping for anything in this darkened place.

"Welcome back, Roxas." A hoarse voice said softly, and I turned around and stared at my reflection. "Surely by now, you'll just let me free. Take out your wrath on those damned people…" He said angrily, and I jerked away, my body growing stronger and suddenly I was myself again.

"Where's___?" I asked the mirror, and it only laughed. "Why Roxy, he's dead. Don't you remember?"

"No…he isn't. I-I…I don't believe you." I said back feeling unsure. Why was this happening?

"Roxy…you let him die. He trusted you, and your mother took you and not him. She chose you and you just let him die! You wicked beast, and you think I'm the bad one." It said smugly.

I sat down on the cold, dark, damp floor and covered my ears. "Get. Out. Of. My. Head." I said angrily, tears falling down my face.

It's laughter echoed the walls along with my horrified screams…

"Roxas, wake up!"

"Roxas!"

"Roxas…it's okay…wake up…"

His voice was so soft and reassuring my wandering eyes opened, looking up into his conflicted ones. "Sorry." I mumbled first.

"I was already awake." He reassured but he looked really sleepy to have already been awake. "You okay?" He asked next and I nodded.

I'd had that dream since before I could remember, I had no idea why or how but it always haunted me.

Before I could say anything else I was suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of worry…concern…weariness…and something else I couldn't identify.

"Sora, you should go to sleep. I'm fine." I told him, trying to convince us both.

_No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes  
No one knows how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies_

"Roxas…" He started but then stopped himself, seeming unsure of what he wanted to say. "Yeah, okay. I'll go to bed." He said softly, getting up away from my bed to walk over and crawl under his own covers.

It wasn't until I felt the chill on my hand that I noticed the absence of his own and the warmth it had given me.

"Good night, Sora." I said softly, turning to stare at the wall away from him.

"Good night, Roxas." He said back and I felt so much better knowing there was someone there that genuinely cared about how I felt.

The next morning, he didn't ask about why I'd screamed or anything and that made me feel a lot better. We headed to school, but I left him to go to Axel just as he left me to go to idiots who thought they were cool.

I guess we were kind of different…

"Hey, fire crotch." I said with a smirk at my best friend who was practically drooling on himself over Kairi. "Hey man. Dude, Kairi's boobs are practically hanging out of that shirt. Awwww….I wanna bang her so bad." He said, knocking me into reality.

So, everything was still exactly the same only now there was Sora.

My damned brother.

"Axel, you won't believe what happened yesterday…" I said just as the bell rang to go to class.

"Tell me at lunch." He said with a smirk, and we walked to our classes.

I guess…nothing has really changed…

So how come I felt like everything was different?

_No one knows what its like  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes._


	4. Least complicated

_i sit two stories above the street  
it's awful quiet here since love fell asleep  
there's life down below me though  
the kids are walking home from school…._

I had spent only two weeks in Orner family's house hold but it felt like an eternity had passed me by. Sharing a room with Roxas was the most terrible torture I had ever experienced. It's not like he wasn't a great guy…really, he was. It's just that…well… he's not very shy…at all. He could walk around naked for the rest of his life and seem perfectly content.

So putting a boy who was struggling with his sexuality in the same room with one of the hottest guys in the universe…and make that guy half naked…It was like giving a heroin addict a needle and saying shoot up. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was so…bad.

It wasn't surprising to see him climbing through his window at 3 in the morning with a Cheshire cat grin and wink before climbing under his covers. He constantly got in trouble in our English class, getting sent out into the hall and last week he even got in a fight with that bully that had sent me cascading into his lap on my first day.

But really, I didn't mind. I found his tough guy style to be an endearing quality that attracted me to Roxas in the first place. But then I had to just about slap myself for thinking about him that way in the first place. I wasn't staying at his house to fall for him, I was staying here to help him…

But I didn't really get what was wrong…

He was a sweet guy…if you look passed the few misdemeanors that he had on his record. He was kind, and thoughtful, he will stick up for anyone that can't help themselves, he's patient and caring…I mean…I thought he was great just the way he was. So what was there to change?

_some long ago when we were taught  
that for whatever kind of puzzle you got  
you just stick the right formula in  
a solution for every fool…_

I guess it was the way he would wake up screaming almost every night…Sometimes he would speak and I would sit on the edge of the bed and hold his hand. "Where is he?" He would say, "I need him…"I really just wanted to know who 'he' was. Maybe I could help Roxas find him? Just looking at the boy as he tossed and turned, his face twisted in pain… I just…felt so helpless…

Tonight was no exception.

I had stayed up later than usual to finish the 7th Harry Potter for the third time. I was really lacking in books, but I enjoyed reading my favorites again from time to time. I was just at the part where Harry was walking through the woods to his death when Roxas groaned.

"You're lying…" He told someone that was hidden in his thoughts, "I don't believe you…" He rolled over, causing his blanket to fall to the ground as his face twisted in agony. I wanted so desperately to know what was going on in his head…But I didn't want to ask him. He could tell me when he was ready and I would be willing and happy to listen. I memorized my page and closed the book as I got up, walking over to the beautiful new brother of mine.

I picked the blanket up off the floor and draped it back over him gently as I wiped his hair away from his restless face. But before I could move my hand away, his came up and caught mine, holding my palm to his cheek. I flushed but then realized that he was still sleeping and smiled slightly at how innocent he looked just laying there. "Where is Momma?" He asked in a cute, small voice that I never thought him capable of. It was almost heart breaking to hear that fragile voice escape his quivering lips. I didn't know that to tell him…

"Um…she'll be right back," I told him gently, "She went to the store for a minute." That seemed like a nice thing to say…right?

"Is he with her?" He asked confusing me, his words quivering slightly as he asked.

"H…he?"

"My brother!" His voice cracked as he said brother, "I…I need him…I w-want my brother b-back…" He sucked in a quivering breath and a tear fell down his pale cheek making my heart just about break.

"There, there," I cooed sweetly, "He… he's right here…" I lied just wanting him to stop crying…

"Really?" He brightened up with a sniffle. Gosh dang it he was so cute… I bit my lip and worked my voice to be as child-like as possible, surprised to find that I ended up sounding almost exactly like Roxas.

"I'm right here Roxy…" I mumbled the best I could, earning his beautiful smile in turn. He reached up and grabbed me, pulling me down on the bed beside him and wrapping me in his arms. I flushed bright red, but he couldn't see it as he held me to his chest.

"I missed you…"He whispered making me feel as thought I had won a noble prize. I couldn't help but say it… "I missed you too."

And then he was back in his own dream, his arms still holding me tightly to him. But…I had missed him. I didn't know why, but I felt like I had been here before…in his arms more than one time…But why? We had just met. So why did I feel like I'd found someone that I hadn't known I was looking for?

_i remember the time when i came so close to you  
sent me skipping my class and running from school  
and i bought you that ring cause i never was cool  
what makes me think i could start clean slated  
the hardest to learn was the least complicated…_

I had meant to get up and go back to my own bed, but I was just too comfortable to move…I felt like I was home. I wasn't even aware that I had fallen asleep until I found myself running down the street in a frenzy. What? I was insanely confused… standing out in the middle of a road that seemed all too familiar to be comfortable. No one outside seemed to notice me. It was like I didn't exist…and maybe I didn't. Not here anyway. I didn't really know what I was looking for, but then I saw them. I woman with long, brown hair and green eyes, looking around nervously as she pulled a little blond boy into the shadows.

Roxas…?

I followed them watching the scene play out before me. It was so sad…Little Roxas was sobbing but the name escaped him…I wanted to know who he needed. Who was this brother that I had pretended to be? But then it all went dark. There were gunshots, and screaming and then a soft sniffle from behind me. I turned to see the child Roxas standing in front of a mirror. He was crying as he glared at his reflection…. "You're wrong…" He told himself. "I don't believe you!" He sank to the floor practically trembling and covering his ears with his tiny hands.

"Get out of my head!" he cried making my heart squeeze in a painful way. I didn't want him to cry. I walked over to him, leaning down to place my hand on his shoulder even though I didn't really expect him to feel anything. But to my surprise, the boy turned his head to look at me with his deep, watery eyes. "Can you make him go away?" he whimpered as his lip trembled. I looked up into the mirror. His reflection wasn't sitting like he was. It was looking straight at me, as if it was daring me to make him leave…

"I can't…" I told the boy pulling him on to my lap so I could hug him. "He is you Roxas…he's your pain…your anger…your fear… and he wants to hurt you… because he himself is afraid." I looked down at the crying boy and kissed the top of his head, "But it's okay to be scared…" I told him softly, "Everyone gets scared sometimes Roxas…" I looked at the mirror at the little boy there. He just looked sad to me. Lonely…

"You aren't alone…" I whispered to the boy, "I'm here with you…" I held him tighter, but then I felt weird like I was shrinking. And he wasn't in my lap anymore I was kneeling in front of him. He looked up at me with wide eyes and I smiled sweetly at him tilting my head to the side, "I'm right here Roxy," trilled a voice of a child and he smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen…

And then I woke up.

_so i just sit up in the house and resist  
and not be seen until i cease to exist  
a kind of conscientious objection  
a kind of dodging the draft…_

Roxas was looking down at me with a slight blush and I was completely red as I met his gaze. Oh crap…I knew I should have gotten up and went back to my own bed…dang my stupid boy brain! "Um…Good morning…" he smiled slightly and that just had me even more flustered.

"M-morning." I stuttered and wiggled out of his arms, running a hand through my hair. I was so embarrassed…I knew he would want to ask me what I was doing n his bed, but I really didn't know how to answer that question. So I spoke before he could, "Sleep well?" I asked him breathily, not able to look at him.

"Yeah," he said sounding a little surprised. "I had…a good dream…" he smiled, trapping me in his gaze for a moment, a small smile creeping up on my lips without me noticing. Why did he always make me feel like I was floating? Like I could just reach out, take his hand and everything could be okay…forever…

_the boy and girl are holding hands on the street  
and i don't want to but i think you just wait  
it's more than just eye to eye  
learn the things i could never apply…_

I flushed again and stood up, stepping away from his head with a guilty smile. "Um…I'll go get ready for school." I mumbled and walked out the door to the restroom. I got ready pretty fast, putting on my school uniform faster than I intended. I walked down to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of OJ drinking it uneasily. It was times like this that I really missed Yuffie…But I hadn't heard from her or Vincent for the time I had been here.

I missed them…so much…I looked down at black polished shoes and sighed. I guess…I always know that it wasn't permanent.

_i remember the time when i came so close with you_

_i let everything go it seemed the only truth  
and i bought you that ring, it seemed the thing to do_

The doorbell rang and snapped me out of my thoughts. I put down my glass and walked out into the entry hall to see Roxas opening the door with a grimace. "What are you doing here?" He asked as I walked over to see who he was talking to. Riku was standing in the door glaring at Roxas like he was a piece of gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm here to pick up Sora," He told Roxas harshly and looked at me over his shoulder with a smirk. "Hey Blue, are you ready to go?" He asked earning a confused look from me.

"I told you that I'm walking with Roxas today…" I told him in a way that I was hoping wouldn't be offensive. Was it me…or did Roxas seem slightly smug?

"You were serious?"Riku asked very rudely. I mean, he said that as if Roxas weren't standing right there.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"Roxas growled.

"It means that Sora has a chance to be somebody, unlike you freak." He stepped into the house till they were chest to chest, their eyes locked.

"You wanna say that again?" Roxas asked, his voice icy, sending chills down my spine. Riku glared back.

"Yeah I'll say it again." He hissed, shoving Roxas hard in the chest, sending him straight back into me. His head knocking hard against my nose. My head flew back and I fell to the floor. Owe…Roxas kneeled next to me, taking my chin in his hand as he looked at me with big, worried eyes. He touched the bottom of my nose and pulled back, blood dripping down his finger.

Now he was pissed…

He got up, turning back to Riku with his fist clenched. "You're going to pay for that asshole," He growled and sent his fist straight into Riku's gut. The elder fell out the door onto the sidewalk and Roxas jumped on him punching him over and over again until the silver teen kicked him off giving him a hard punch in the eye. I jumped up, pulling Riku off of him and pushing him as far away as I could.

"Stop it!" I yelled as the two of them panted, Roxas held his already swelling eye and Riku spit out some blood. "Riku I think you should go." I told him, looking him straight in the eye as he stared back bewildered.

"You're choosing that freak?" He demanded grabbing my shoulders, "You're choosing that weirdo?"

I glared at him stepping out of his reach and backing toward Roxas. There was no question about it. "He's not a freak," I said softly wanting him to have to lean in and listen, "He's my brother…"

_what makes me think i could start clean slated?  
the hardest to learn was the least complicated….  
so what makes me think i could start clean slated?  
the hardest to learn was the least complicated…_

I watched Riku stomp away not really knowing what to think about it. As soon as he drove away, I turned back to Roxas and grabbed his arm, pulling him back into the house. I pushed him gently into one of the kitchen chairs. I scooped up some ice in a dish towel and placed it on his eye as I sank down next to him. I felt like crap…There was a big knot in my stomach now that I had Riku as an…and enemy? But Roxas tore me out of my trance.

"Sora…?" I turned and looked at his one revealed eye so that seemed to be trying to read me. I waited as he found the words, "…Th…Thank you…for that…" He looked down, lost in thoughts I didn't know and I smiled at him softly.

"You're welcome…" I muttered back, placing my hand on top of his, sending a jolt through my body…And then it was like I was in his head. I could hear him…and feel him…The strangest emotions pouring into me as I gasped and we met each other's eyes. Identical eyes…

Maybe there was more to this connection than I thought…

_i'm remember the time when i came so close with you  
sent me skipping my class and running from school  
and i bought you that ring cause i never was cool_

what makes me think i could start clean slated  
the hardest to learn was the least complicated  
so what makes me think i could start clean slated  
the hardest to learn was the least complicated  
the least complicated  
the least complicated


	5. Closer to You

_How soft a whisper can get  
When you're walking through a crowded space  
I hear every word being said  
And I remember that every day  
I get a little bit closer to you_

Sora…

Sora…

Sora…

I was seriously obsessing over this guy. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't do anything without thinking about him.

And man…they weren't the best of thoughts. It didn't help when I woke up and he was right there, so close to me that everything he felt was just rushing in. And then I got into that damn fight with Riku, things seemed to just get worse from there.

Every day turned into hell, I had never wanted someone so badly and it felt like every second that went by without him was pure torture. Damnit…

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, trying my best to ignore the boy that was mere feet away. How could I sleep when he was so near? I just wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held myself back. I mean, he was my fucking brother! I've always been a little twisted but this was sooo wrong. Not to mention the feelings he gave off were so confusing.

He always acted on edge around me, like something was always running through his head making him nervous and excited at the same time. It just left me feeling confused.

"Roxas?" I heard him whisper across the room, my heart leapt to my throat and was beating so hard I was near hyperventilation. "Yes?" I asked, rolling onto my side so I could face him properly.

"Why does Riku not like you?" He asked, his words sounding careful. I thought about how I would respond for a moment, but the flame that constantly flared up in remembrance of the hate that always followed my every move came bursting through me. "He's like the majority of this fucked up place, they don't like people that aren't replicas of themselves. People that are different scare them." I said angrily.

Sora was quiet for a moment, then he sat up and I did as well. "I'm sorry, Sora that sounded like I was saying you were like them and honestly…you're not. But they seem to like you, and I'm glad that you can fit in and make people proud rather than constantly piss them off." I told him, blurting out the words but he held up his hand to stop me.

"Roxas…it's fine. They just don't see you, not the way I do." He said it so softly, so sweetly…damn, I just wanted to kiss him. It was like he was throwing himself at me, like he was the oldest, sweetest wine in the world just begging for the alcoholic to take a sip. Oh God…

"Night, Roxas." He said at last with a smile on his gorgeous lips. He laid back down and slowly he drifted off to sleep.

I didn't sleep at all that night, I got up and pulled on my uniform. Then I fixed myself up and snuck out the window, walking all the way to my destination. I picked up a rock and threw it at the window. And then another. And then another.

He finally stuck his head out just in time to get hit by one of my flying stones. "Shit! What the f-…Roxas?" He asked, staring down at me. "No shit Sherlock, open the door." I said with a huff, rolling my eyes. He walked away from the window and I heard him meandering down the stairs, then the door next to me opened.

"Get in ass wipe. Geez, why the hell did you wake me up in the middle of the fucking night?" He asked, running a hand through his hair as he gazed at me through bleary eyes. "I know how you feel now." I said unhappily as we trudged up the stairs and into his bedroom. "Whatcha mean Rox?" He asked me, laying down on his bed and I took a seat on the floor. He handed me some blankets and a pillow.

"I'm talking about Sora. Red…I'm falling for him. And every minute being away from him is hell, I just want to fuck him, and love him, and hold him, and just take care of him. Every second away from that fantasy coming true is terrible." I mumbled and he stared at me then laughed. "Okay, dude, I only caught the word fuck out of there and since you were referring to me I suppose you were correct in knowing how I feel." He said.

_How long an hour can take  
When you're staring into open space  
When I feel I'm slipping further away  
I remember that every day  
I get a little bit closer to you_

After we talked for awhile, I finally fell asleep. The nightmare I normally had came to play, only this time I woke up screaming instead of in the arms of an angel. "Roxas, it's alright." I heard Axel's soothing voice say from the bathroom.

When he stepped out, he was ready for school. "Ready to go?" He asked, and then noticed my attire. "I think I learned something from all your screaming." He said, once I'd stood up. "You're the crazy sex screamer I've heard about." He said with a wink and I rolled my eyes, following after him.

Once we'd gotten to school, my eyes searched every face and looked for the one I treasured above all. I finally saw him, Sora, and he looked as tired as I felt. "Hey, Sora." I said casually, when we passed each other. He managed a small smile but something was harboring behind those intense eyes…"Hey Roxas." He said in turn, then we were gone our separate ways….no matter how much my heart fought to run back to him.

School was long, tedious, boring and made me wonder how I'd ever survived before today. Sora…something was wrong. Did something happen while I was gone? Was he angry that I needed air and left for the night? Did he just not get enough sleep?

Finally, Health rolled along…my favorite class of the day. I openly stared at Sora now, contemplating each look that crossed his face and the weird look in his eyes never seemed to fade…

"Sora!" I called, running after my brother once the bell had rang. He had taken off, looking around himself like he didn't know what to do. "Roxas, I have to get home." He said quickly, but I took his hand and pulled him around. "Sora, we can go together." I said brightly, reflecting on the fact that I was touching him.

Then it happened.

All his emotions came rushing into me…anger…irritation…worry…sorrow…need…lust…and exhaustion…

I yanked my hand back, but he looked as shocked as I did. He stared at me with shocked eyes, something flickering behind them.

"Roxas, I'm going to my home not yours." He snapped bitterly, but he sounded more frightened than angry which only left me more confused. But I couldn't shake off the hurt I felt when he had said it that way and mumbled, "Oh, alright then." I said and turned around, walking away from him.

Sora…what have you done to me?

I got home and immediately worked on my homework, then took a shower. I didn't go down to dinner, I didn't do anything, I just sat there and waited for Sora to return. It took so long…eventually my lids felt heavy and dreams wrapped their outstretched darkness around my head…

"Roxas…keep up with me." A voice said, and my legs were pumping hard to run along with the boy in front of me. The bag of money in my hands felt extremely heavy but I kept on going, the light of the sun falling down into sunset. We were being cast in darkness but we couldn't escape the sound of sirens that echoed in my head and everywhere we went.

"Tommy, we need to get out of here." I said between breaths, trying to catch my breath. The scent of sunflowers was coming from the field in front of us and the heat of late summer caused more moisture on our skin than was comfortable.

"Fuck this, give me the money. We need to get out of here." He said, looking around quickly then took of running. I ran after him angrily. "Tommy, you get the fuck back here! You are not leaving me out of this! Tommy!" I yelled after him as we ran hard and fast through the sunflowers. The sirens were getting closer…closer…

He got too far ahead and eventually I tripped, falling to the ground and suddenly an arm caught me. "You're under arrest." A voice said and I let my head bow down in defeat.

When my eyes opened, I was in a dark room and Sora was right across from me. "R-roxas? Please…help me…we have to get out of here…" He whimpered but no matter how I moved I couldn't seem to get away from whatever held me back from him.  
"Sora! Sora! Sora!" I screamed over and over again until a bright light was shining into my eyes, a voice reaching my ears.

"Roxas…I'm right here…" Sora said softly into my ear, and when the light was gone we were sitting in a beautiful meadow. "Sora…" I mumbled, and felt myself being shaken.

"Sora?" I asked and I suddenly woke up to have Sora cuddled next to me, his voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "I'm awake now." I whispered softly, but was only greeted by the sniffles of him crying.

"Sora, are you okay?" I asked him softly, turning to face him. He shook his head and his crying got worse, turning into sobs but all I could do was wrap my arms around him in a tender hug. I held him until his crying ceased, but even then his sniffles made me feel terrible.

"Well…at least Axel's not here. He's..uh…bent on banging Kairi." I blurted out, nervous because I had no idea what to say. Sora looked at me for a moment and started laughing really hard, leaving me to stare at him. "Uh…ehehehe…" I laughed a little nervously. Eventually he stopped laughing and took my hand.

"Thanks, Roxas. That made me feel better." Omigod…he's touching me. He's so sweet, how on earth could he even think about being friends with a guy like me?

For some reason, his eyes softened like he knew what I was thinking but it only left me confused. Somehow he always left me confused…but I could feel everything he was pouring into me. Which seemed to confuse him, because he looked at me with a cute tilt of his head.

He was feeling sad…hopeless…angry…but somewhere in there was a hint of happiness like he was happy about something but it was hidden deep down.

_These are the days  
That I won't get back  
I won't hear you cry  
Or hear you laugh  
And when it's quiet  
And I don't hear a thing  
I can always hear you breathe_

Eventually, we fell asleep right there…holding hands…

"Roxy, do you ever miss me the way I miss you?" A cute little voice asked, and when I turned my head…I realized we were in the meadow again only this time Sora was a cute little boy laying with his head on my tummy.

"Sora…I've missed you since I lost you." I mumbled softly, playing with a lock of his hair. We didn't say anything for awhile and all I could hear was the sound of his soft breathing.

"I can hear your heart." He said with a giggle, and suddenly he began to grow and he was my Sora. I felt bigger too, and it felt right with him there with me. "Sora…it belongs to you." I said softly in a whisper but he seemed to hear me.

"Roxy, I'm always here with you. Don't forget that, and…my heart belongs to you too." He said sweetly, leaning up and connecting our lips. It was the best kiss I'd ever gotten, and when my eyes opened to the morning sun…I wanted to believe it was true.

But Sora was still sleeping next to me, and the clock read 10. School! I jumped up but then slapped myself. It was Saturday, duh. I got back in my bed and rolled over to look down at Sora's peaceful face, he was so beautiful.

I reached down and barely caressed his cheek, his eyes fluttered open and I pulled my hand away. I smiled goofily, and waved at him. "Mornin' sleepyhead." I said cheerfully, he looked sad still but at least my greeting had brought about a smile. I wondered why he was sad…why did he feel that way?

"I can't go home." He told me angrily, answering my unspoken question. "Why?" I asked hesitantly but he was ready with the answer, "Your foster parents won't let me go home and my parents said that they're okay with that…" He said sadly.

I put an arm over his shoulder and gave him a goofy grin. "Don't worry sorry, when you close your eyes everything will be okay. Trust me. No matter how bad it gets, things can only get better." I told him sincerely and he gazed up into my eyes.

"Thanks, Roxas." He said and I looked deep into those eyes, leaning forward and…the door opened. We leapt apart like there was fire in between us. "Hey kids! Up and at 'em!" She said with a smile, then motioned towards the stairs. "Breakfast is ready."

We looked at each other for a moment, then Sora headed down after her and I stayed and watched him go. At least we could be together in my dreams.

Sora…

_You know there's nowhere else  
I've wanted to be  
Than be there when you needed me  
I'm sorry too  
But don't give up on me  
And just remember that when you were asleep  
I got a little bit closer to you_


	6. I Want to Hold Your Hand

_Oh yeah, I'll tell you something  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll say that something  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand_

Roxas…say something…

He had been quiet all day…Not saying a word since the morning and he kept looking over at me but no words fell out of his perfect lips. Why? Had I done something wrong? I remembered vaguely how I had snapped at him the day before, but he hadn't seemed like he was bothered by that. And after that dream last night, I needed to hear him speak to me more than ever. I wanted him to say my name…Just to hear the word in his beautiful voice. Coming from the same lips that had captured mine the night before in my sleep.

But even if it was just a dream, it had all felt to real to let go. His skin had been cool on mine and his lips so soft…to soft to not be real. But did he dream it to? I hoped with all my might that he did…I felt like…like I was a very old book, with fragile pages that had been lane open. Like he knew something about me…And I knew him. I had to…

He just felt to right not to…

But then there was the question of my faith. I mean, I was raised a good Christian boy being told that it was wrong to be homosexual. Vincent had taught me that…But …why should I care what he told me was right and wrong when he was so freely giving me away?

And God never hated anyone anyway right? And if everyone was made for somebody…what if I was made for him? I understood him, I wanted him, I knew him…

I…I loved him…

And no God of mine would hate me for loving a beautiful, broken boy like Roxas…right?

_Oh please, say to me  
You'll let me be your man  
And please, say to me  
You'll let me __hold your__ hand  
I'll let me __hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand_

I bit my lip and looked up at the blond in question as he flipped through the millions of TV channals that they had. I had my a book open on my lap but I was finding it hard to concentrate with him sitting so close to me. I really wanted to lay my head on his shoulder and have him wrap his arm around me…I wanted to snuggle into his side and give him sweet kisses. I wanted to take all the sadness out of his eyes…but mostly I wanted to reach out and hear the thoughts pour out of him…and see if maybe…just maybe…if maybe he loved me to.

But I was too much of a chicken… dang it…

I sighed and turned closed turned the page, realizing that I had read the same line about 38 times… This was just torture…how had I lived through all the days before?

As I was off in my own little fantasy world, staring at the page, Roxas had somehow gotten close enough to me that I could feel his breath in my ear. "What're ya readen?" he asked with a smile, causing his sweet breath went into my ear and I shivered noticeably.

My face went read, "J-just a little Shakespeare," I told him with a smile. I had read a head in class so I wanted to do a little reading for fun. He smiled and set his chin on my shoulder and read the page I was on.

"So what's your favorite story?" He asked. I could feel his adams apple moving and had to force myself to focus on the question.

"Othello," I told him fondly.

"And why is that?" he asked almost amused.

"Because," I smiled, "Othello really loved Desdamoana…sure in Romeo and Juliet Romeo claimed that he loved her, but he had never really known what love was…And Antony and Cleopatra was to violent for me. Othello my end sadly, but you know that he will always love Desdamoana…no matter what."

He was quiet for a moment, "You seem to like romances…" he muttered, leaning his head so that he was in the nook of my neck. My heart was hammering and I had to swallow before I could answer.

"They're nice," I could barely get out…but really I could only think of how the soft skin of his cheek felt on my neck…I let out a breath I hadn't known that I was holding in and lay my head on his. Why did this feel so right?

_And when I touch you I feel happy  
Inside  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide  
I can't hide  
I can't hide_

I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of him breathing as I closed my book, my hand brushing his just slightly…but that was all I needed. I heard one thing. Just a few words. Barely a sentence…

_I love you so much…it hurts to breathe…_

My eyes flew open and I struggled to keep my breathing steady. I wasn't really sure if I wanted him to know how I felt or not… but he was thinking it…was it me? And how could I hear his thoughts anyway? Roxas caught my hand, moving away so that he could look at me, "What's wrong Sora?" he asked but he was thinking the same thing I was…he wanted to know how I felt… He was so close, I could taste his breath on my tongue, no one was around…it was just us…both of us somehow knowing exactly what was on the other's mind…

_Yeah, you've got that something  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll say that something  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand_

I held his face gently in my hands and scooted closer, my heart beating frantically as his hand found it's way to the small of my back and helped pull me in. Both of us were nervous, and we sat and stared at each other for a moment before we both leaned in slowly to get what we both wanted.

It was beautiful…The most perfect kiss that I had ever gotten. Very soft, and very slow as we took our sweet time wanting to stay together. I felt like an entire lifetime had passed us by as my eyes fluttered shut and my heart faltered. I had to wonder why I was in his arms what could be so bad about something so wonderful? How could loving this boy be so terrible when it made me feel so complete? I didn't think it was bad…not in the slightest. It fact, the only thing that I could think at that moment was that I never wanted to let him go again.

_And when I touch you I feel happy  
Inside  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide  
I can't hide  
I can't hide_

I pulled back only a moment to look into those deep eyes and smile, just a small smile, before he pulled me back and my arms wrapped around his neck. It was like I needed him, I felt like if he let go, I wouldn't be able to breathe. But he was breathing for me…

We fell back with him leaning over me and I gazed up at him as he shook his head, "What is it about you that makes me want you so bad?" he asked an almost desperate way…It nearly broke my heart as his lip trembled, "Why?" he choked out… "Who are you Sora?" He asked, laying his forehead against my chest. "You're driving me crazy!" he was crying and I held him gently to me as he did, running my hand through his hair and telling him it was okay.

"How can you say that?" he asked looking up at me. "You are religious right? So isn't this bad? Wrong? Should we stop this now?" Just the thought of that made my chest hurt.

"I…don't want to…" I said softly. He blinked at me and I continued, "God loves all of his children," I told him, "he makes then the way that he wants him to be…so…I have to believe that he made us this way for a reason…" I pushed a stray lock of hair out of his face.

A small smile spread across his lips and he lay his head down on my chest again. "Maybe you're my angle Sora…" he breathed and closed his eyes so he didn't see me blush. An angle? I looked down at him, the light hitting him in a way that illuminated his entire face.

He just couldn't see who the real angel was…

_Yeah, you've got that something  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll feel that something  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand  
__I wanna__hold your__ hand_


	7. Tears of an Angel

_Cover my eyes_

_Cover my ears_

No…not Sora…my mind couldn't comprehend what this woman was telling me. "Roxas…please, you must understand." She said pleadingly as she took my hand in hers but I pulled it away in disgust. "How can you tell me this about him?! How can you expect me to just walk away from this and be alright?" I asked her angrily.

Her eyes filled with tears.

"I had to Roxy…he was dead…he was supposed to be dead…."

_Tell me these words are a lie_

"W-what?" I asked her. Stunned. My breathing had gone ragged and my body was chilled to the very bone.

Not Sora…

She looked up into my eyes with the most concerned expression mixed with pity…something I recognized from a time long ago.

Then I ran.

_***************_

It had started like any other day since Sora and I had found out about each other. I had walked with him to school, we had gone our separate ways to act normal, then as soon as we got home to the emptiness of our room…that was when we truly became ourselves. We kissed and held each other, while I listened to everything he said with careful speculation.

I never shared my story.

It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just felt ashamed of how awful I was compared to Sora and all his wonderful achievements.

"Want some pizza?" I asked Sora, looking down at his head in my lap. He smiled enthusiastically. "Sure." He answered sweetly, my head bending down to kiss his lips. "I'll be right back then." I said with a wink, moving him out of the way so I could slip out of the window.

I climbed down the tree, hearing Sora cry out "Careful Roxas!" as I landed on both feet at the bottom, barely missing one of the old tree's protruding roots.

I hurried towards the pizza place when I suddenly found myself falling….falling…the ground rushing towards me painfully fast as I caught myself with my hands.

"Fuck." I hissed as I looked at my bleeding hands.

"Such bad language Roxas." A woman behind me said softly. I turned and stared at her, recognizing her but unable to place where I had seen this raggedly- dressed old woman before.

"Excuse me? Do I know you?" I asked her rudely but she only smiled. "So beautiful you've gotten…." She said softly, reaching out and taking my hand.

For some odd reason…I let her.

"Roxas, do you know who I am?" She asked me with a smile. I shook my head but my eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "I've seen your face before…"

"Yes, Roxas. You have." She said, then solemnly she took her other hand and tenderly stroked my cheek.

I didn't know what to do.

"W-where?" I managed out quietly, my eyes wide. Who was this woman? Why was she acting as if she'd known me all her life?

"Roxas….I am…your mother…"

Everything in me felt like cold water had been splashed onto my unknowing face.

"But….I'm an orphan…"I said stupidly but the woman shook her head as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry Roxas…this was for your own good. You and…your brother." She said hesitantly but I knew automatically who it was.

Not Sora…

"Sora?" I choked out and she nodded her head but looked confused. "How did you know about-"

"No." I said firmly.

"No what, Roxas?" She asked me sweetly but I pulled away from her. "Sora is not my brother."

"Roxas, you must understand that I had to do this for both of you. He's dead sweetie…you're safe now." She told me but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

_It cant be true_

"He's alive. He's ALIVE!" I shouted angrily into her surprised face. "No…." She said softly but I ignored her. "No this can't be happening…" I said but she only took my hand again.

And this is the moment when I looked into her eyes and saw that this was real.

All of my dreams.

Every moment with him.

It was an abomination…I was a sick, twisted person.

_That I'm losing you_

_The sun cannot fall from the sky_

So I ran and ran but I couldn't run from him forever.

Not Sora…

I stopped on the outskirts of town, breathing heavily and fell to my knees on the side of the road.

How could I love my brother?

All those moments…the way our lips felt against each other…that look he got in his eyes when he saw me…

Those dreams…

My brother.

Sora was my brother and there was nothing I could do about that.

Were we twins?

Was I older?

Was everything a lie this entire time?

And why did our mother seem to think he was dead?

My head began to ache with questions that continually grew inside of me.

_Can you hear heaven cry_

Slowly, pain began to radiate from within me and spread from my chest upward. And as I sat there on my knees something came over me.

I began to cry.

And not just small tears no…heart wrenching sobs that filled the air and made me feel like I was dying.

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of aaaaaaaa..._

_Tears of an angel_

_T__ears of an angel._

Eventually, I made my way back home, but in a dead fog that filled the very core of my soul. I was completely and utterly numb.

"Roxas???" Sora yelled, leaping down from my window as best he could once he saw me. "Are you okay? I was so worried! You went out for pizza and come back four hours later like…like that!" He said pointing to my dirty clothes, messed up hair and red eyes.

I sighed and ignored him, pushing past him to make my way up the tree.

Our arms brushed and I felt the pain of my ignoring him rush through me like salt in a fresh wound.

I yanked away from him with fresh tears in my eyes, trying to ignore the building hurt behind those innocent eyes.

I climbed into our room and immediately went to my bed, falling down on my pillow, closing my eyes and trying to keep my ears shut to the grunting Sora who had just fallen into our room.

"Roxy…" He said softly, but I didn't answer.

"Roxas? Roxas answer me." Sora said, sounding a little sniffly but I didn't move.

"ROXAS." He said next to my ear, and grabbed my shoulders as he shook me. I angrily opened my eyes and shoved him off of me.

"Fuck off, Sora. Get the fuck outta my room I don't want to speak with you." I said coldly into his shocked face.

Gently nodding his head he turned away from me and walked out of my room.

I cried all night long.

_Stop every clock_

_Stars are in shock_

******************

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello?"

"Roxas?"

Rolling my eyes, I turned over in bed and peeked over at Sora's sleeping form.

"It's three in the fucking morning Ax." I said tiredly, my eyes still shut.

"I did it! I finally fucking did it!" He said excitedly but I had no clue as to what he was talking about.

"Do what?" I asked, finally starting to wake up.

"I fucked Kairi!" He said happily, and I felt shock roll all the way down me.

"W-what?"

"I fucked her, man! We did the dirty. We got it on! We sent our lovemaking moans to the starry skies!" He said positively ecstatic.

This was just fucking great.

"Call me back once it's legal to be awake." I groaned at him but suddenly heard a knock on the window.

Damnit Axel.

I hurried over to it and opened it up as I let the bubbly red head in.

"This is the best thing that's ever happened, Rox. Not to mention she was a virgin. A fucking virgin! I got to be the first to get a head in her." He said laughing so hard I thought he'd never be able to breath properly again.

He finally calmed down enough to look over at Sora then face me.

"Roxas…you need to talk to the poor guy. It's been over a month since you spoke to him…he's dying man, and you're letting him."

_The river will flow to the sea_

_I wont let you fly_

_I__ wont say goodbye_

"Axel….if he knew the truth…" I trailed off and then shook my head with tears coming to my eyes again. "I don't wanna talk about it." I said at last with a shake of my head.

Axel glared at me.

"Man, what's with you? Why're you turning your back on me? You've always told me everything! Why is this time any different?" He asked angrily, standing up and turning back to the window.

"It just is." I hissed back bitterly but Axel simply shook his head.

"When you decide to trust the people that'll always be there for you, gimme a call. Until then, maybe you should watch who you stab in the back with that sharpened knife of yours." He said and jumped out of my window.

I got back in bed and turned to watch Sora sleep.

He looked so sad, even in his dreams….

I walked over to him and gently touched his cheek, when all of a sudden a rush I hadn't felt in a long while came over me.

Anger….betrayal…sadness…grief…hopelessness…so many terrible emotions came over me and when I ripped my hand away I realized I was sobbing.

What had I done…?

_I wont let you slip away from me…_

I walked over to my bed and sat down on it with a sigh. Wiping my eyes I turned to Sora.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry but if you knew the truth as I do…you'd realize how terrible I am to have done this. I should never have fallen for you, Sora. And I should never have let you fall for me…" I whispered into the darkness of the night.

"No, you should not have." A familiar voice said, opening my door as I yelped in surprise.

"Roxas, you're an abomination and I'm going to use you as I should've years ago. And now that you and your beloved are weak…this should be easy." The voice said with an evil laugh.

Taking out a needle, the source of the voice pushed it into my arm and the world began to fade away….

Darkness…

Taking over my vision…

"I love you….S-S…ooorr…a…" I mumbled as I collapsed on my bed and got dragged away…

Down…

Down…

Down…

_Can you hear heaven cry_

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of aaaaaaaa..._

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of an angel._

Having a hangover has always been the worst feeling in the world to me.

Fuck that…

When I woke up in a damp, dark place with the smell of alcohol and sewer water and the sickening numbness flowing through me…that was the absolute worst feeling in the world.

"Why….why are you doing this?" I mumbled to a shadowy figure across the room from where I sat against a hard concrete wall.

"I want to steal that power of yours…to feel emotions is a wonderful gift Roxas. You don't realize how truly special you are. You and Sora." The figure said back but I felt nothing.

That was bullshit.

All of this was.

"What are you planning to do?! Sora won't let you take him so easily!" I said angrily, fighting a wave of sickness.

_So hold on_

_Be strong_

The figure smirked at me and then blatantly laughed. "Oh, this is precious. Much easier than I ever thought."

It walked towards me, reaching forward and grabbing me by my shirt. "Come here little Roxy…" It placed me on a stool in the middle of the room and put a weird helmet thing on my head that had little scanners running over my head.

"Take a deep breath and hold it." The voice instructed and I nodded my head, gulping in as much air as I could before the figure pushed a button and suddenly I was overwhelmed with pain….over and over again Sora's emotions were coursing through me as I screamed and screamed…

My head was pounding and suddenly my thoughts connected with Sora's…he was dreaming about me being in pain…

I let out another scream as Sora realized I wasn't breathing in the dream…wait….I wasn't breathing…

I tried to suck in some air but the pain felt like someone had punctured my lungs and I couldn't hold in a single breath.

I was dying…

Just like Sora was on the inside.

_Everyday on we'll go_

_I'm here, don't you fear_

Every time I went to sleep after that I only dreamt about Sora. I don't know how long I stayed there, writhing in pain…day after day…night after night…every once in a while the figure would come back and do more experiments on me, feed me, give me clothes but then I'd spend days after that alone.

I didn't know what to do with myself and I was slowly losing my sanity…

Sora….please….

Be safe.

Don't hurt him.

Not Sora…

"Sora…I'm sorry." I whispered sadly to myself as I listened to the silence surrounding me.

"I love you….my brother."

_Cover my eyes_

_Cover my ears_

_Tell me these words are a lie _


	8. You be the anchor

Roxas...Why?

_And honestly I have been begging for answers,_

_That you and only you can give me..._

This what I feared would happen...The pain... the sorrow... the anger... the hurt. All of it flooding into me as I walked out the door and sank down against the wall as my chest started to heave. I was so weak.... I couldn't breathe... I must have done something wrong, something to provoke this...anything. There had to be a reason...there is always something.

But I just couldn't think of one. Everything had been perfect, and I would have been happy to lay there with my head in his lap, just looking up at him forever.

He said he's be back...

But..._he_ didn't come back...

That may have been the face of the sweet boy that I knew was still there, but there was no signs of the boy that I knew... Roxas wasn't there...

Roxas was gone...

Roxas had fallen away.

All that was left was his face and those cold, heat wrenching eyes that stared blankly as his hand ripped through my chest to claim what I would have freely given before crushing in his hand.

_A voice crying loud,_

_I've been crying for days now..._

I felt almost like I was being punished...that God was mad at me after all. Maybe I really wasn't supposed to be with Roxas. Maybe I was just on of those people that wasn't meant to be happy... All I had to do was forget about him and move on, right?

Wrong.

Every time I even looked at him, every small glance, every brush of the arm as we passed in the hall way, every time I walked home, staying late so he would already be there, my the gash in my chest would rip open and I would be so distraught that I simply fell apart where ever I was. I just fell down...and had no intention of ever getting up again.

_And as I start to run, _

_I stop to breathe..._

It all just hurt to much...and everything, absolutely everything made the whole where my heart had been cut deeper until I had bled out everything that had made me who I was. Now all I was was a face. Just a face in the never ending sea of people. A face with sad, empty eyes... no heart... my heart had been given away... but even if he tried to, I wouldn't give it back.

I gave it to him... it belonged to him... I wouldn't be able to live if he gave it back.

It had been a month since we had last spoken to each other, never staying in the same room for more than ten minutes except at night. I woke up early and got ready for school before the sun ever had the chance to rise and did my home work. It was easier that way. When I get home, I go straight to bed so that way I wont have to bother him by sitting in his room. So I always did my homework in the morning since it only took me 15 minutes. That way I had 5 to pack my bags and I could walk out the door as soon as his alarm rang and be out of his way.

I think he liked it better that way... when I wasn't around. I think it was easier for him when I just left. So I did my best to make him at ease.

I was a little late today...

His alarm rang just at I was putting my books into my massager bag, and he groggily brought his hand down on it. I tried my best not to look up at him. He didn't like when I looked at him, and I didn't want to see what those cold eyes held for me today. Instead I just clamped my bag shut and threw it over my shoulder, walking out the bedroom door.

I closed it quietly, keeping my face completely blank of all emotions as I set off down the hall before decending the stairs. But when I walked out the front door I was greeted by a tall red-head with a cigarette in his mouth.

"Hey" he grinned.

_And I'll be here by the ocean,_

_Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams,_

_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes _

_And every wave drags me to sea..._

I blinked at him unsure what to say to him. I hadn't really had the chance to really be Axel's friend, only a few , very amusing, conversations that usually ended in my blushing and him laughing his ass off. But he was Roxas' best friend, so I really had no business trying to rescue our acquaintanceship. But even in the short time that I had known him, I knew one thing for sure.

He was NOT an early riser.

"Roxas just woke up." I told him with my blank stare as I started walking again, "He's upstairs getting ready if you want him..."

"Actually," he said falling into step beside me, "I was hoping to talk to you." he said casually blowing a smoke ring.

That was surprising enough to stop me in my tracks.

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked him blandly as I started walking again, pretending that I wasn't bothered at all.

I'm not a very good actor....

"Frankly," he sighed dropping his cigarette and stomping it into the sidewalk, "You and Roxas have been acting all...depressed of late."

I probably wouldn't have answered if the last part hadn't registered and had me laughing my ass off for the first time in a long time. It took me a moment to catch my breath, "Did you really just say of late?" I laughed again at how funny it sounded coming from him.

"What?" he smiled, "Isn't that how you freaky skip-a-grade kids talk?"

"Um...no..."I told him, the happy glow of laughter fading, but I still managed to keep a small smile on my face.

"Anyway," he started before he was interrupted by the most beautiful voice in the world,.

"Thanks for waiting Ax..." Roxas huffed out of breath as he ran to to catch up. My head bowed instantly, suddenly becoming very preoccupied with my feet.

"You take to long," Axel chuckled, "And I found Sora here already up and at um." he grabbed my shoulder but I kept my gaze on the ground."Actually, I think we all need to talk about this situation that we have going on here," he said seriously.

"What situation?" Roxas asked blankly, "there is nothing going on. Right Sora?" He asked. but I knew that he want talking to me. He was just fooling Axel, he just wanted me to nod my head. But that was the first time that he had said my name in a month...

"Excuse me," I gasped and rushed off in the opposing direction back home. His voice... my name... it was all to much for my butchered chest....

_I could stand here for hours,_

_Just to ask God the the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"_

_With a tear in his voice, he said, "Son, that's the question."_

_Dose this defining silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

I went back to the house and ran up the stares, collapsing on my bed before the the terrible, gasping sobs broke free from my lips. My whole body hurt as if I had been stabbed over and over. Why was this happening? Why was God punishing me this way? What was so terrible about me loving Roxas? And what changed his mind about me?

I crawled back into bed and threw the covers over my head, just staring at the inside stitching until my eye lids got heavy enough to close but not to sleep.

_As hours move to minutes _

_And minutes take longer to break,_

_I'll be desperately awaiting..._

I heard when Roxas came into the room and give out a long sigh before turing on his desk-lamp and ruffle through his bag. I didn't move, I just closed my eyes and willed sleep to come faster...But I didn't actually start drifting until the lamp tuned off and Roxas' breathing from across the room grew even and steady. Only when I was sure that he wasn't going to have a nightmare did I allow myself to sink into dreams.

_My tongue won't fall apart, _

_And we've been sitting here for hours, _

_All alone and in the dark..._

My dream started out in the perfect ideal setting. I was sure it was some place I had been before. A beach... with soft white sand, and perfect blue waters that crashed to the shore in huge waves. I was standing there in my school uniform, looking around confused. Why was I here?

I started to walk down the bank slowly, carefully, not yet sure if this was a night mare or not. But it was so beautiful... how could it be bad?

Off in the distance, I could see something...someone, standing and watching the waves. It was a beautiful woman in a plain white dress that blew in the breeze. Her hair was long, and braided, in the exact chocolate brown as mine. But it was her eyes... I knew those eyes... and I knew this woman. As soon as I was close enough to defiantly see her a tear slid down my cheek.

"Mom?"

Her head snapped up, and she took me in with hungry eyes, a grin splitting across her then we were running towards each other and she wrapped me in her safe arms like she was wrapping me in a blanket of her love.

I missed this...

_So let me think of how to word it, _

_Is it to soon to say 'Perfect?'_

_If I could find another thirty minute somewhere,_

_I'm sure everything would find me, _

_All that's left is just to sing..._

"Oh my baby!" She said over and over, "I can't believe that you are still alive.... I thought you were dead..."

I pulled away from her, confused, "What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Well your father dear," she said as if it were obvious, "When you were little I only managed to get your brother away. I tried to come back for you baby, I really did! I ju-"

"My brother?" I stepped out of her arms feeling a sickening feeling in my stomach. I knew who it was....

"Roxas," she told me... she stopped for a moment taking in my expression, "do you feel it to?" she asked anxiously. I nodded wondering how I hadn't realized this before. It was so obvious that we were twins... but... I loved him.

I was in love with my brother, that was a sin.

But something... something small and warm in my heart told me that it was okay.

She was serious now, "I knew you would find me, that's why I've been waiting here Sora... You are in danger. You and Roxas... Do you feel that chill?" she asked and I nodded, "That sick feeling in your chest. That is Roxas... something bad is happening. He needs you baby." she told me looking at me with large eyes. I'm sending you into his dream, but I need you to be ready. This isn't a dream to him. It's real Sora," she took my face in her hands and looked me in the eye, "Don't let him die!" Then she kissed my forehead and the scene changed.

_And I'll be here by the ocean,_

_Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams,_

_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes _

_And every wave drags me to sea..._

It was cold here...I fell on the grounds with an 'umph!' surprised by how painful it was. This wasn't an ordinary dream...

Roxas was on the floor, his breath coming in shallow gasps as blood pored out around him.

No...nonononNO! I ran up to him getting down on my knees, begging him to get up with all my might. I wouldn't live if he died. His chest had been pried open and I could see his, beating, bleeding heart pound, "Roxas..."I gasped, "Please... stay with me okay?" I tried to smile but I just couldn't. "I'll give you anything... just don't die..." I pled.

But he just smiled softly at me as he drew a last breath. "I'm sorry Sora..." he croaked and closed his eyes. He wasn't breathing anymore. I was frantic. I held his nose and blew air into him mouth. "Please..." I begged him before I blew again breaking into tears, "Please come back!"

I'm not sure how long I preformed CPR but it didn't work... he wouldn't breath... I failed him. And know he was gone...

"S-sora?" My head snapped up to look at him, but I was pulled out of the dream. I couldn't see him. Was he alive? Was he dead?

_I could stand here for hours,_

_Just to ask God the the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"_

_With a tear in his voice, he said, "Son, that's the question."_

_Dose this defining silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

"Sora wake up!" a woman's voice called shaking me. My eyes popped open to see Martha looking down at me. "Shushhh" she tried to sooth me. I was crying. "You don't want to wake your father do you?" she asked.

My father?

I pulled away.

"He isn't my father..." I told her looking for Roxas. He wasn't in bed. "Where is Roxas?" I asked her not liking the way her eyes were looking at me full of pity.

"He's with your father dear." she told me.

"He is NOT my father!" I shouted. I think that was the first time I had ever taken such a hateful tone with anyone before.

She shook her head, "Your father wont like that tone young man!" she said crossing her arms. "You just quiet yourself down!"

I glared at her before I turned and opened the window. She grabbed my arm. "What do you think you are doing?" she asked me.

"Leaving," I spat, "I need to find Roxas!"

"I can help you with that..." said a sickeningly familiar voice in my ear before a needle was stuck in my neck... I tried to scream... I tried to do anything... but the light and the world were fading around me. "There there, "the man soothed me, "Don't fight it..." and I couldn't. In a last effort, I stretched my arm out the window, hoping that by some miracle Roxas would take my hand.... But he didn't.

He was gone.

Just a face now in my stream of thoughts that were all going blank. ..

_Tell me once again,_

_That you'll love me to the death..._

_And should I die, you swear that you'd come for me...._

_As I fade away, you reach your hand out...._

Roxas...

_Please don't let me go... _


	9. Never be the Same

_I know you, who are you now?_

"Hey Roxas!" A familiar voice called and I sat up, smiling up at the silver-haired boy in front of me. "Hey Riku." I responded nonchalantly with a wave as he jogged up and sat down on the grass beside me.

It was a beautiful day in August, the sun shining it's last rays of light before the night began. Little fireflies swooped in around us and the smell of grass and chlorine filled the air, it was a perfect place to be on nights like this and I was glad that we'd decided to meet up in this park.

"So where's Kairi and Namine?" I asked flicking a mosquito away, annoyance creeping into my features. "They're late again." I said with a sigh, and Riku laughed obviously finding my impatience amusing. "Relax, buddy. They'll be here."

"Who will?" Asked a sweet voice and I turned with a smile on my face.

Kairi.

"You guys, silly," I responded happily and jumped up to give her a hug. She looked cute today with her shorts on and a tank top, her hair was short (about chin-length), and her sweet pre-teen face looked joyously back at me. Her slender arms wrapped around me and my heart skipped a beat as I took her in…

"Earth to Roxas," another angelic voice asked and I smiled goofily at Namine. Her hair was down to her butt in golden waves and her tender blue eyes bore into mine with a smile. "Hey Nami!" I said and threw my arms around her as well, basking in the warmth she gave me.

After our warm greetings, we all huddled in a group and sat down in the grass, talking under the stars. Riku sat up and stretched, "Hey guys I'm gonna go take a walk, okay?" he said before he walked off with his hands in his shorts' pockets. "Be right back," Namine said as well and walked in the direction of Riku, leaving Kairi and I alone. "Can I ask you something, Roxas?" She asked really softly and I turned and smiled at her. "Of course," I replied.

"Well…I know that things have been really weird since you and Namine broke up but…can I…kiss you?" She said and before I could answer her, our lips were collided in a wonderful kiss that made my very heart melt. "What the FUCK is this?" I heard a strong masculine voice cry out and strong arms wrapped around me, picked me up and threw me to the ground. "WHAT THE HELL RIKU?" Kairi shouted but was drowned out by Riku's punch hitting me in the gut hard enough to make wheeze very loudly, I felt like I couldn't breathe…

"Why would you do this to me, Roxas?" I heard Namine's soft question as her fragile body began wracking with sobs and the fist collided with me again, this time on the side of my face. "I-I didn't mean to…she kissed me!" I wheezed out and I saw Kairi's eyes fill with tears. "Don't you love me Roxas?" She asked and before I could reply, Riku kicked me in the stomach. "I d-d-don't know!" I gasped out as tears blurred my vision. "RIKU stop!" Namine shouted and grabbed him just as he reached back to punch me again, elbowing her in the face. "Namine!" I gasped out, "You stay the fuck away from her…freak!" Kairi shouted, hurt turning to anger and suddenly everything seemed strange…my friends were my enemies….all over a kiss…..

"Hey, you okay?" A red-headed guy asked while I stared idly into space in detention. "W-what?" I asked and peeked over at his smirking face. "You just looked sorta down, I guess. I'm new, the name's Axel. A-X-E-L, got it memorized?" He said laughing at my bewildered expression and extending his hand. "I'm Roxas." I replied with a smile just as our hands touched….

"You know YOU'RE my best friend dude," I told Axel and sighed, running a hand down my face as we sat together in our secret spot behind the bleachers. "So what's this shit with Tommy? Why are we keeping this a secret?" He asked, obviously agitated but I honestly had no answer for him. Tommy had been the guy that had helped me through my depression, through the brief bouts of drinking, and through the process of letting the girl I loved go. Unfortunately, he'd turned into some sort of adrenaline freak and always wanted to do things that got ME in trouble and not him.

"Look, tonight we're gonna rob a bank. I'm gonna let him think I've got his back then I'm gonna ditch him, okay? I'm tired this bullshit too…" I whispered the last part but Axel's hand found it's way onto my shoulder. "Dude, don't do it," He said softly and I shrugged away, stalking off. "No one would miss me..." I mumbled. "That's not true…I would. "He replied…

"Roxas…keep up with me." A voice said, and my legs were pumping hard to run along with the boy in front of me. The bag of money in my hands felt extremely heavy but I kept on going, the light of the sun falling down into sunset. We were being cast in darkness but we couldn't escape the sound of sirens that echoed in my head and everywhere we went.

"Tommy, we need to get out of here." I said between breaths, trying to catch my breath. The scent of sunflowers was coming from the field in front of us and the heat of late summer caused more moisture on our skin than was comfortable.

"Fuck this, give me the money. We need to get out of here." He said, looking around quickly then took of running. I ran after him angrily. "Tommy, you get the fuck back here! You are not leaving me out of this! Tommy!" I yelled after him as we ran hard and fast through the sunflowers. The sirens were getting closer…closer…

He got too far ahead and eventually I tripped, falling to the ground and suddenly an arm caught me. "You're under arrest." A voice said and I let my head bow down in defeat, but instead of handcuffs the arms pulled me away and into a familiar car. "Axel?" I asked amazed as he let me turn around to face him. "I've got your back man. This time…you'll be the one off Scott-free. You can bet that I'm not gonna let my friend go through more hell for this. Especially my BEST friend." He responded and we hopped in the car, speeding off away from the crime scene…

"Shut the FUCK up Tommy. You're a sick motherfucker if you think I'm gonna let you beat the shit out of some innocent kid!" I yelled in his face, punching him hard in the jaw. He was much bigger than me but his size was nothing compared to the ferocity I got when I beat the shit out of someone. "But he's just some nerd…" He panted out and I punched him right in the nose. "Sora is NOT a nerd." I said and with that walked away, glaring at anyone who got in my way…

"Look Roxas, I jus' don't like seein' you down like 'dis." Maurice said and patted my back while I swept the place as methodically as possible, my face kept stony and cold. "I-I…can't do anything. I'm not…I'm not human or right Maurice." I told my boss and a lone tear slid down my cheek. "Go home man. Take a break from this for awhile and remember 'dis one thing, okay? Love is never wrong." My eyes met his and understanding passed between us…

_Look into my eyes if you can't remember_

_Do you remember? _

_Oh…_

It had all come rushing back to me and with a gasp I opened my eyes and stared up into the dark room I was huddled in. "Roxas…is that you?" I heard the sweetest voice in the world mumble and I felt my heart stop.

No, this wasn't right.

"Sora, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, crawling towards him but felt bars between us and the dark kept me from seeing his beautiful face. "Yeah, it's me. What's going on Roxas? Where are we?" He asked with a tremble and I realized with a shock that he must be frightened and here I was dozing off in my memories of things from far too long ago.

"Sora, I'm gonna get you out of here." I whispered and leaned against the bars, reaching out for him. My cold exterior had melted and all that was left in its place with the desire to hold him and love him more than I ever had before. "Roxas, what happened to you?" He asked softly, flinching away from my touch, making my heart ache with sadness. I had done that…pushed him away until he no longer wanted me near him…

"I found out the truth…Sora, you're my-" But my words were cut off by the unfamiliar man grabbing me by my hair and yanking me onto a chair in what I assumed to be the middle of the room. "Shut your fucking mouth, you!" The man cried and a bright light was turned on, shining right into my eyes.

_I can see, I can still find_

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded angrily, no longer caring how much pain I went through just as long as Sora was left unscathed…"That don't fucking matter you little shit." He barked out at me and shoved my head back until my vision blurred and I could make out just the dark outlines of the man's head. "Mr. Orner!" I hissed out, thrashing in my seat angrily as I tried to kick the ignorant man in the face. "STOP MOVING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" He shouted into my face and slapped me hard on the face.

"ROXAS!" Sora's voice yelled out, and I flinched at the power of it. It had been so long since someone actually worried about me or cared where I was.

_You're the only voice my heart can recognize_

Then I felt a pinch as a needle slid under my skin and everything went black once again…

_But I can't hear you now, yeah_

"Love is never wrong. Love is never wrong. Love is never wrong. Love is never wrong…" The words repeated over and over again inside my head as searing pain shot through my body.

"Roxas! God, Roxas! Please!" I heard an angelic voice crying over and over again for me but in my blanket of darkness, I couldn't quite find the will to care. "It hurts too much," I said softly and as the words slipped out so did the darkness and I found myself lying on my bed next to Sora who was stroking my face as I mumbled in my sleep.

I had my arms wrapped around him and I heard whisper to me barely loud enough to catch, "I missed you too…"

_I'll never be the same, I'm caught inside_

_The memories of promises of yesterdays_

My heart leapt to my throat as I felt all the loving thoughts come pouring out of him and into me…all those emotions I hadn't been able to identify, all the love, all the worry, all the understanding…it came rushing into me and combined with the pain I felt rushing around inside of me.

"Sora…"

_And I belong to you_

Suddenly I found myself looking through his eyes, watching myself drudge by with the weight of loving him burdened on my shoulders until I found myself on a couch watching him read over his shoulder, my head nestled in the crook of his neck.

"You seem to like romances…" I whispered softly and watched his skin get goosebumps, he took a swallow before replying, "They're nice."

The words shouldn't have effected me but for some reason I felt tears pool in my eyes and my heart felt like it was being ripped open…'I love you so much…it hurts to breathe…' I thought, choking back a sob.

He went rigid under me and I pulled away, taking his hand in mine to assure myself that he wouldn't just disapear. "What's wrong Sora?" I asked softly, wondering if he knew and if in some way he could even remotely feel the same way that I did…

But he's my brother.

The thought threw me out of my past self and I was left writhing in pain back in the darkness. "Look at yourself!" A voice barked and I was suddenly thrown into the past once again only this time watching myself coldly look away from Sora and his heartbroken expression made the pain even more unbearable.

_I just can't walk away 'cuz after loving you_

_I can never be the same_

Now I knew…I'd been so stupid trying to keep away from the boy I'm so obviously meant to be with. _"Love is never wrong…" _The voice whispered in my mind and now I understood better than ever before why exactly he'd said that. It had been like the voice of God speaking through him to me to tell me exactly why this isn't wrong, why I'm not horrible or sick or disgusting.

I loved him.

I loved Sora so much that even in the darkest hours I was never far from him….

"STOP!" I shouted pulling myself awake and throwing the man off of me. I was soaked in my own blood and vision was blurry but I managed to have the element of surprise which allowed me one second…just one is all I needed..

"I love you Sora!" I said as loudly as I could, the joy of it rolling off my tongue.

BANG!

A shot went off and suddenly darkness crept in this time but instead of calm…panic was all that consumed me, whether it was mine or Sora's I honestly couldn't tell…

_No! Stay! _

Sora was calling my name over and over and sobs were consuming all that I could hear. "It's okay…"I mumbled but still I heard him screaming. He sounded so heartbroken, so sad that it made my heart break…

_Nothing compares to you_

"Roxas stay! Please! Stay here just a minute longer…I love you Roxy…please?" His voice was pleading and I saw light swooping in before my eyes but still I turned to his voice…how could I abandon him?

_Nothing compares to you…_

"Roxas…"

_I can't let you go_

I heard a woman's voice and the light consumed me just as I listened to his voice slowly face away and his warmth wrap around me…

_Cuz' after loving you…_

_I could never be the same…_


	10. Famous Last Words

No…Roxas…

Just…. No…

No…

No.

NO!

It's like everything had been moving in slow motion until the gunshot and them it went into over drive. Oh God no…Please don't let that be real. Please let this be an awful dream that I can't wake up from. Please let him open his eyes and tell me to wake up…

Wake up Sora.

Wake up!

_Now I know…That I can't make you stay…_

Nothing…I shook him again and again as I called to him "Roxas please… Please Roxy I love you so much! Wake up. You need to wake up now." I kissed him hard on his bloody lips, but they were dead and cold beneath mine. I choked on a sob as I clung to him, gasping in a panic and pain, "P-Please Wake u-up Roxas!"

"He won't."

The voice sounded like poison…

I looked up to see Mr. Orner leaning on the terrible chair that he'd hurt Roxas with. The pistol he'd just shot off in his left hand as he twirled it around and aimed it at my head. He had a smile set on his ghastly face that reminded me of a shark in mid kill. I had my hand over the bullet hole in Roxas' side, applying pressure, trying to make the blood that was gushing out stop…it just needed to stop. But I looked up at him with hate seeping out of me through my every pour as I addressed him.

"You don't know that!" I hissed, "He's a lot stronger than you know…"

He chucked sounding a little drunk as he squatted down next to me, looking me over with lust in his eyes. "You think I don't know the power within my own son?" He laughed at it again, only this time it was insulting and painful to hear. I looked away from him at the dying face of the boy I loved contorted in pain. Hold on just a little longer…

"You aren't his father…" I muttered my eyes so distraught that there was no hiding it for the evil man. He grinned, his long silver hair tied up out of his handsome face so that I could see the true evil inside the man.

"You always were so innocent Sora…" he smiled, taking my chin in his hand, his breath hitting me hard in the face and I couldn't get away. "I see that it's stuck with you even after I took it away." His words were like an ice pick stabbing through me. Stole my innocence? My father? Who the hell was this man? And what was he talking about? I didn't have to say anything. He looked straight into my eyes and smiled like messing with me was his favorite thing in the world. "Don't tell me that you can't remember?"

I stared at him my gaze not moving and my mouth not opening. I was wasting time here and he knew it. He knew as well as I did that Roxas had only a few minutes, maybe half an hour before he bled out and that was the end…But he had the gun…I was his hostage and he would use everything her had against me.

I didn't give him the satisfaction of showing him how afraid I was, but deep down, I was terrified…Roxas was going to die and then I'd be left here all alone. Was there even a way I could get him out of here without being fallowed? Could I move him without killing him then and there? I had to believe it was possible… I had to hold on to something.

"Tell me Sora," Mr. Orner went on, his voice as smooth as black velvet and just as deceiving. "Did you ever wonder why you couldn't remember anything about the five years you spent with your real family?" He let go of my face and stood back up, looking through his test tubes for something that I wouldn't know. I didn't answer him, but he was right. He'd been right this whole time and I've been too stubborn to answer. I wouldn't let him distract me. There was something far too important to loose in my arms. I leaned down and placed my ear to his chest, listening to the very small sound of his heart beating away from me.

Roxas…What did he do to you?

_But where's your heart?  
But where's your heart?  
But where's you-_

I caressed his face, his entire body drenched in sweat as he fought to hold onto his dying breath. "Just hold on." I whispered to and then I took off my shirt and wrapped it around his bloody side, packing the wound. I stood up and faced him. My father. The man that had flittered across the outskirts of my nightmares for years but I could never see his face. But now that he was in front of my, my hands drenched in Roxas' blood, I had no choice but to face him head on.

"He's going to die if you don't let us go…" I told him, my head held high and my voice free of the trembling that was pulling at my knees. He smiled but didn't stop his goings-on, he simply nodded like this was all going according to some plan and walked around behind me.

"Yes," He said calmly, his voice without the face even more terrifying then I could imagine. I worked hard to stand still as I asked the only thing that would get us out of this situation.

"What can I give you to let him go?"

_And I know!  
There's nothing I can say…_

I could feel his putrid breath on the back of my neck…

_To change that part…_

I had the urge to sun away, but I forced my legs to stay still and wait for his response. But then the memory came to me…It hit me like a brick wall.

No…

_To change that part…  
To change!_

I was hiding under the bed, to afraid to come out when I was all alone. I did this a lot when Mother took Roxas with her to the store and Dad came home…Dad was never happy with me…He told me that I was a man and ment don't hide from their problems like children.

But I was a child…

And he was very drunk.

It was so cold under the bed, I wrapped up in mom's big pink sweater as I waited anxiously for them to get home. They'd been gone for two hours…she said that she'd be back, but I had to stay away for Dad. She said that he was…mad at me. I heard him enter my room, his footsteps like my heart beating wildly out of my chest. He closed the door behind him, the lock clicking into place and the little light that shined under it to the hallway was like the flickering of my hopelessness in the darkness of the room.

_So many,  
Bright lights they cast a shadow…_

He was walking around in circles; I could see the bottom of his shoes through the skirt of the bed as they pitter-pattered against the floor and the heavy heave of his breathing. He was looking for me in all the high places. For a five-year-old in the high places. That's how I knew he was drunk. He would never look under the bed, not unless there was a reason, a noise, a hand sticking to far out. Or maybe the small sniff of my runny nose.

Snot slipped down my face and mixing with the tears that poured in silent waves from large eyes that were desperately fighting against my mind to shut. If I can't see him, he isn't there… If I just close my eyes and keep my mouth shut then no one can hurt me…

Hear no evil…His footsteps were fading from my mind.

See no evil…My eyes were shut tight; only the light for the hallway was peeking through.

Say no evil…

I sniffed.

_Well it's hard understanding,  
I'm incomplete…_

He stopped…

And then everything began to move faster.

He yanked me out from under the bed with the same sickly smile on his face and a knife in his hand as he looked at me like a father who actually cared about his children. There was something wrong with this picture… "There you are little buddy." His voice _was_ poison and my ears were full of it that night. The horrible things… the blood…the pain…His slimy touch and the way he spoke to me…

I don't want to remember anymore!

_A life that's so demanding…  
I get so weak._

And now I'm back in the room. The terrible room with a monster breathing into my back while the only person I will ever love is lying on the floor dying at my feet. I waited as he got his response together, my eyes dripping with the pain of my memory starting to resurface. I didn't sniff this time, I held my head high and waited for him to speak. Just speak already damnit! He was wasting precarious time that I didn't have. "What can I do?" I asked him again, my voice cracking with the pain crashing down on me. My body was shaking now with effort to keep me from crashing to my knees in the sorrow and shock that was clawing at me.

He held my shoulders to keep me up, his voice in my ear and a smile in his voice, "What are you willing to do Sora?" He asked me, walking out in front of me, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

It took me a moment to answer him. I felt a terrible ping of fear in my heart as I realized what kind of power giving in would give him over me. But he had a gun. The blood I was standing in was all the evidence I needed of that. But could I just give him my life in exchange for another?

Behind me Roxas groaned, moving just slightly before crying out in pain , making me turn to him. I had to help him, and to help him was the only thing that was in my power to do. I knew my answer.

_A love that's so demanding…_

"I'll do anything…"

_I can't speak!_

"Then sign the adoption papers" he told me simply, pulling a pen from his pocket and pushing me to the lab table with a legal contract that held my name. "Just sign the papers Sora and you will once again be my son. Roxas will go to your parents, I think Vincent will do good with him. Yuffie will still have a child to love, and in turn I get back my perfect son." He pinched my cheek but I swatted it away making him sigh in frustration. "Look Sora, I am a very powerful man. And you… you are a very powerful boy. Let me harness your power Sora, and then I'll let Roxas go. You can take him to the hospital. He'll live. He'll be happy. Just sign the papers."

He held the pen out and with a trembling hand I took it inching it down to the white paper beneath it. I couldn't remember my name. The pen slipped from my hand, staining the paper with a few drops of Roxas' blood along with the ink. _My name is Sora Valentine_. The thought came to me easily when I saw the red that was covering me. My name was easy…this life was hard.

I signed my name to the paper and looked at him for the green light. He picked it up and examined it smiling and then nodded to me, "Go."

I ran to Roxas, hoisting him as carefully as I could onto my back but he still cried out. I felt his blood on my back but that only pushed me farther, faster. I had to move. I ran with him up the stair and through the cellar doors out into the night sky. It was so dark out that I was running blindly for a moment as my eyes adjusted. There wasn't anything around that I could recognize…Nothing at all, just grass and the cellar behind us.

Just keep running Sora…

That's what I told myself. Just keep running and everything will be okay, everything will be okay, everything will be okay, everything will be okay, everything will be okay. It has to be, it has to be, keep breathing, just run, left, right, left, right, left, right, left-

"Hey!"

I couldn't run anymore…it hurt…Life hurt…there was no breath left in me…

_I am not afraid to keep on living!  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone,  
Call me if you stay, I'll be forgiven,  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home! _

There were headlights behind me, a car that I didn't know, but a voice that was familiar. I was crying so hard that I was hyperventilating when he pulled up, "Sora? What are you-" The door was hurled open and Roxas was taken off my back in an instant. "Holy shit! I mean holy fucking shit!" Axel was next to me, putting Roxas in the back seat and pulling me into the car. "What the hell happened!" he demanded, jamming the gas pedal as far down as it would go.

I couldn't breathe, and he seemed to get that. "Dude, Blue, calm down." I tried but I couldn't stop gasping, he grabbed my arm, "Look, I know this is a stressful situation, but you need to calm down. Roxas will be okay, alright? Just take a minute and breathe." I nodded but that wasn't enough. "Sora look at me," I looked into his emerald eyes, noticing how calm he was. He believed this, "It's going to be okay"

_Can you say my eyes are shining bright?  
Cause I'm out here on the other side…  
Of a jet black hotel mirror, and I'm so weak._

The ride to the hospital was completely silent, but everything erupted as soon as we pulled into the emergency lane. We both jumped out of the car and the doctors helped us pull Roxas out, strapping him to a gurney and wheeling him away from us. Away from me…

"You're next," One of the men told me, trying to push me down in a gurney they rolled up to me.

"No, it's not my blood," I told them, but they still tried to get me down. "Stop…" I told him, the panicked memory of my father holding me down on to a bed, "Stop! Get the Fuck off of me!" I jumped away from them and ran as fast as I could into the hospital.

"Sora!" Axel called after me, but I kept going. I had to find someone, someone important to me, where was she? Everyone was staring at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was, but I needed to find her…I needed to see her…I needed to-

"Mom?"

_Is it hard understanding,  
I'm incomplete…_

Yuffie stood at the nurse's station checking a patient chart talking to a woman with long, chocolate hair just like mine. But as soon as I called to her, she zoned in on me, and then she was running, falling to her knees in front of me, taking me in with wide and worried eyes. "Sora?" Her voice was shaken and a frazzled as her short black hair. "Sora baby…wh-what happened to you?"

"It's not me…" I was barely able to whisper, "It's Roxas," The woman at the counter looked over at us and I recognized her in a second. What was she doing here? Why was she piercing me with my own eyes like she was afraid I was hurt? I didn't want to see her when the pain of her abandonment was fresh in my mind. She saved Roxas and left me in the unstable hands of my father. And now, Roxas was the one strapped into bed.

_A love that's so demanding…_

"What happened?" Yuffie asked, standing up and pulling me into the break room so I could sit down and rest my trembling legs.

"He was-" I had to stop myself thinking of what Mr. Orner was capable of and the fait that I would not put upon my family. "We were mugged…" I told her almost lamely. I had no more energy or life left in me. I wasn't her son anymore…but Roxas would be. I told her a lie, a beautiful lie that made Roxas out to be the hero that he truly is so that she would love him as much as she'd loved me. And she believed me like the beautiful person that she is.

She stood and kissed my forehead," You just wait here baby," she told me, "I'll go check on him for you." I smiled until she got to the door and I stopped her.

"Mom?" I asked her quietly, I was almost sure that she didn't hear me.

She turned around, her hand on the door knob and smiled at me, "Yeah sweetie?"

It was so hard to hold onto the tears in my eyes, "I love you," I told her for what would be the last time.

She laughed, "I love you to silly boy," And then she was gone.

_I get weak!_

"…Sora?" The beautiful mother from my dreams stepped through the door, closing it slowly behind her. I didn't respond. I stared only at the blood coating my hands as she walked over and sat down next to me. "Sora…are you alright?" She placed her hand on my back and I stood up, walking to the other side of the room.

"You had no right…" I told her in a low and angry voice after a long silence, "You had no right to leave me with him." I told her my eyes blazing when I looked down at her. She met my eyes with pain, letting me know that I was right. I hadn't forgotten. I hadn't made a mistake. She deliberately kept me there and stole my brother away, leaving me to look in fear toward the hall lights under the door frame, wishing she'd saved me to.

"You're right…" She whispered, tears filling her eyes , "And I am so sorry baby, I am so, so sorry. I thought that I was doing a good thing separating you. He wanted you together, I don't know why but he did and now he wants you apart."

"And he got it." I told her, my voice completely dead.

"What do you mean?"

"He adopted me today." I told her, keeping the emotions off my face, " I stole me for my unknowing foster parents and traded us. It was the only way that I could save Roxas…"

She looked like she wanted to say so many things, but the door opened and Vincent stepped him, freaking out as soon as he saw me. After telling him the same thing that I told Yuffie He just sighed in relief, hugging me tightly and kissing the top of my head like he never wanted to let go of me again.

I would miss this…I would muss all of this…I would miss standing here in security with a father who loved me. I looked up at him with a smile, "I love you Dad," I told him, the words seeping out of my eyes into his. He ruffled my hair and told me the same and then he went to find Yuffie so they could celebrate having their boy back.

I kept my back to the woman. She wasn't my mother. She was Roxas' mother but not mine. I had allowed myself to fall into her trap for a brief moment but that was over now and I was out of time.

"I'm sor-"

"I know you are." I turned toward her, eyes filled with pain. "I forgive you." I told her, a tear falling down my face. "I forgive you." I said again, and then she was crying. She embraced me, holding me close until I stepped away. "I have to go now…" I told her and she nodded watching me turn before she grabbed my arm.

"Don't be afraid to live Sora." She told me as I departed, but I was terrified of just walking.

_I am not afraid to keep on living!  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone!  
Call me if you stay I'll be forgiven!  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home!_

The hospital was filled with the sounds of beeping and running, people crying and people cheering for their loved ones that never found any hope. My parents were talking outside of a room, they were talking about Roxas… About me. They thought that they were keeping us both and they were horribly mistaken. They didn't know what was about to happen and they couldn't. I didn't want to look at them anymore.

But then I saw him…

Roxas…

_I see you lying next to me…  
With words I thought I'd never speak…_

I went to him, his eyes just barely opened and bloodshot. He was hooked up to a million boxes and tubes and there was nothing that I could do but stand there. His head turned towards me and a ghost of a smile crossed his face. "Hey," he croaked almost as if he didn't just almost die in my arms. He was so un afraid of all the shit that just happened that it made the sorrow close over my chest. How could he be so calm when he almost died tonight?

"Hey…" I said back, walking up to the bed and sitting on the edge. He took my hand and I gave it a squeeze of reassurance, mostly for my own self doubts. We hadn't spoken in such a long time, and not he was here and we were holding hands, just looking at each other with nothing left to say.

Awake and unafraid…  
Asleep or dead!

"I love you." I told him softly, not bringing myself to look into his eyes. He grabbed my cheek gently and made me look him in the eyes.

"I know…" He whispered, a smile spread across his beautiful face expecting on in return, but I had only tears to give him.

"I have to go now." I told him, straining hard against the sob that was knotting up my throat. "But I love you, I need you to always know that I love you."

"Sora, what the hell are you saying?" It was obvious that I was scaring him, but I was scared to. I was terrified because I knew that this would be the last time that I ever saw him. His grip on my hand tightened and I knew he wouldn't let go.

"Roxas, I have to go…" I told him, tears spilling down my face. "Just let go okay?"

"No." He said, clutching me, hurting my arm, but I didn't care. "I'm not letting you go. I'll never let go again." He pulled me down to him, connecting out lips in a kiss filled with fear but it couldn't last. We couldn't last…

_I see you lying next to me…  
With words I thought I'd never speak…_

"It was the only way I could save you…" I breathed, his face inches from my own. I couldn't bear to move away when in a moment I'd be pulled free of his arms. "I had to do what he wanted….But you'll be okay here, Vincent and Yuffie are great parents. They'll take care of you Roxas. You-"

"What did you do?" he demanded, but I looked away from him again, making him angry and hurt. He grabbed my face with both of his hands, pulling me nose to nose with him. "Sora, what did you do!"

I looked into his eyes and shed my last tears before I smiled at him softly, through my trembling lips. I kissed him, just a small ghost of a kiss and murmured, "I set you free…" I pulled back and looked at him with all my love showing through my eyes, "I'm not afraid anymore Roxy." I told him moving away from him. I was about to break down and I couldn't let him see through the lie. I'd always been a good liar…

_Awake and unafraid…  
Asleep or dead!_

"Sora…" The word came out of him like a bullet straight into my heart. My back had been turned to him but I paused at the door.

"Goodbye Roxas," I told him and then I walked out the door. Out of his life. Out of his arms. Out of my everything and back into the abuse of the world that was falling down on me.

_I am not afraid to keep on living!  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone!  
Call me if you stay, I'll be forgiven!  
Nothing you can say will stop me going home…._


End file.
